Tuesday, July 05, 2022

Media late to the party again: Governments' Dirty Tricks

The title of this video reads:

How Fossil Fuel Giants RIG International Law To Ensure Their Profits Are Protected

Pretty cute. It should read How Industry Uses the Federal Governments They Own to Establish International Law Which Protects Their Profits.

Industry does not create law on their own, and governments are not "Scrambling to not get sued..." as this reporter suggests. Governments created this situation intentionally through so called "trade deals" which they pushed through as undemocratically and secretly as they possibly could so as to support government sugar daddies while pretending to be on humanity's side. 

I used to protest these conspiratorial "trade agreements" whenever their creation was leaked and we had just barely enough voices to get them knocked down for awhile but I never thought the governments (both righties and lefties) would give up and of course they didn't and of course they were ultimately successful.

The migrations continue. Governments gradually shed transparency and saddle us with it while stripping our privacy and taking it for themselves. 

Keep up the great work, voters.

Sunday, July 03, 2022

A Symmetry of Thumb

So this is my proudest moment.

I have used my amazing all-star creative and influencer powers to bring together some of the most brilliant minds in music today to produce the next We Are The World basically. I'll include brief bios below but they're redundant. These are household names of the highest echelon okay.

The project is called A Symmetry of Thumb and if that title doesn't quite seem grammatically sound to you, that is only because WE ARE ALL SO MUCH SMARTER THAN YOU! Anyway, enjoy. 

The Symmetry of Thumb Collective:

Jens Lekkman

Songwriter, storyteller, shit-kicker and honey-lipped vocalist. Sweden's answer to ABBA.


Wielder of two opposable thumbs and YouTuber of sixteen years with 1,401,735 views. Hey. You could be the one million four hundred and one thousand seven hundred and thirty sixth. What are you waiting for?


Tiefling, ranger, beast-master, revenge-conspirator, cat-lover, sexual legend, alcoholic and friend to children and other smallish people everywhere (except dwarves). All this before the age of seventeen!

Julie Andrews

Actor, singer, author and official Disney Legend. Fifty-ninth Greatest Briton of all-time and Hasty Pudding's Woman of the Year for 1983; the same year Queen Elizabeth II went into space, only to be replaced by the alien doppelganger who returned in her place. COINCIDENCE ??  

Rick Astley

Dancer, Internet prankster, two-thumbed guitar enthusiast, man who will never give you up and presumably one of the top 68 million Britons.

New Day Rising

Video editor, Crip, Gordon Ramsay fanboy, competitive eater, laundry-day nudist and guy who doesn't actually realize what "Crip" means.


Saturday, July 02, 2022

[insert clever title]

Hah! Punked you. I did not return next month. Or the next. And now it's July and the day after the We're So Great We Rock Nuthin Wrong Here Day Holiday Fun Day and I am not hung over 'cause I can't afford to drink anymore. But maybe some day. Also I spent the day at home alone doing some real honest to god writing and hosting an event on the LemonCloud Survival-1 minecraft server AND... I ate some tuna sandwiches, worked on a video and sneezed riotously; making my back twitch and seize like a fucker. Same things I do every day.

Hey! You want to know what's on my mind! Well of course you do! All my imaginary readers are dying to know what's on my mind.

It's July Camp NaNoWriMo and though I'm probably done with NaNoWriMos for the foreseeable future I am happy that my buddy Chess Champ is participating and I am very much with him in spirit as I pursue my own challenge which is just 250 words (minimum) each day.

And for the record I am not counting any blog content; only my serious fiction project; a collection of related short stories which I very fully outlined a few years back.

Yesterday was day one and I wrote 650 words and even though I was not particularly well-rested it was not difficult. I'm happy with the work and also free of my usual perfectionist trip-traps. If things start to go sideways, big whoop. I can carry on in some not-quite-right direction, let the project evolve and edit it into the right shape when the time is right. How did I just spend years not writing and thinking I couldn't do it? What an idiot.

That's it for today. And don't worry. I am not calculating my word-count here! These 312 words shall not be logged!

Love you.

Saturday, April 09, 2022

Wow. Another month down the drain

 Hey-o folks. Sorry to break another month of blog silence but I must share this very important announcement: Just in... there are two S's in "Easters"

See you next month.

Thursday, March 10, 2022

act /akt/

My acting career culminated in grade seven. Our French class performed a play for the school as part of some larger event which was attended by many parents. It was set in a discothèque. We all had to dance as the play opened. Then we talked. I had one line and I still have it memorized. Ready for this?


Which means I agree. I basically just piggybacked on someone else's line. Then we danced again to a cacophony of derisive laughter from the audience as the curtain closed.

I still remember the review I received for my performance: "Hey wasn't that your French class in the play? I'm surprised you weren't in it."

Madame Visser could have at least given me "Je suis d'accord." Maybe that would have got me in the spotlight long enough to be noticed. Oh well.

Totally not us.

Wednesday, March 09, 2022

Article 1201

So I just noticed that my post count is 1200 on the nose. Kind of a milestone. Twelve hundred blog posts in sixteen years. I realize not all have been winners.

Now if you're an obsessive kind of go-getter you could add up my summary figures from a mile down the side-bar there and you'd come up a handful shy of 1200. That's because a few have been taken off the air for various reasons.

Just for fun, I thought, where could I be if I'd driven a kilometer for every post I've published? I could write a blog post about whatever place that is! So I opened google maps on North America and without any tools of any kind, picked a randommy spot to start looking for a 1200-mark, by trial and error.

For my first guess I picked St. Louis, zoomed in and plunked a waypoint down on "East St-Louis."

1151 KM.

Whoa! That's #%$ close! And still plenty of St. Louis ahead! So I moved toward the far end of the official Greater St.Louis Area and spotted the Spirit of St. Louis Airport and plunked again. 1197 KM! Am I a sub-conscious geography wizard or what!

Oh wait. Google says that the address for SOSL Airport is actually Chesterfield Missouri. What?? Say it isn't so! Okay, wait a minute.

Okay, I just wikipediated Chesterfield MO and they say it's a suburb of the City of St. Louis and a member of St. Louis County. So there. I'm gonna say I nailed it. And I'm not doing a post about a lousy airport. I'm a freaking subconscious geography wizard people! A legend! Don't ever question me again!

Charles Lindbergh and the Spirit of St. Louis

Tuesday, March 08, 2022

Rock and Roll Hall of Fame 2022

Those smug old boys in Cleveland are at it again and you too can cast your performer votes; up to one ballot per day until April 29th at vote.rockhall.com!

And this year, if you're a particularly nasty little insectoid maniac you can even vote for - well, I can't bear to say his name but - the creepy caterwauler sometimes known as Slim Shady. Yeah. I was afraid he'd show up this year. On the bright side I've been on the Commodores/Lionel Richie campaign ever since Radiohead ascended, And look who showed up! I suppose I can call it a fair compromise. The White Banshee was inevitable anyway.

Sunday, March 06, 2022

Lakmé 2022

So I discovered I needed to put together a motorcycle compilation and decided to focus on esthetics and aerodynamics, with a hint of death. So I give you: the opera Lakmé adapted to the speedway.

I don't know if it will play here because it's 18+ restricted and the reason is - well, here's the rant I provided in the YouTube "About" panel:

Rather than suffer the exhausting boredom of dealing with YouTube's ever-growing army of censorship monkeys and their deluded efforts to protect their dullest most-superstitious viewers from themselves, I just went ahead and designated this an adult-only video so that only adults and super-smart kids who know how to pretend to be adults will be able to enjoy this uplifting opera: It is Lakmé by Léo Delibes, conducted by Alain Lombard and adapted to the speedway by Alfonse Floofter Gnu Jr. 

Any ads will have been placed on behalf of a lovely but unpronounceable Parisian theatre organization. We never choose to monetize here at Half Ass Films.

Please note that some of this film's participants are dead, disfigured and/or mentally debilitated due to their actions captured herein. If this offends you it is because your strings are being pulled by an aggressive ego who enjoys being offended. Suppressing this footage will not bring these people or their brains back to life, but indeed, promoting it may help dissuade others from making the same dire mistakes. This video is best enjoyed with two or three ounces of Irish whiskey or, in a pinch, Kentucky bourbon.

This video is dedicated to my pal Ivosaar over at The Automan Empire.

Saturday, March 05, 2022

They're called "Spotlight Images"

Yeah, I just found that out. Those initial MS Windows images, usually beautiful landscapes, where you first enter your pin upon starting up a PC session. They call them spotlight images and in case you're even slower than I to stumble upon this information: you can look them up here, when you really dig one and it gets replaced too soon:


Oh hey! Look at this. I still have a blog. I really should make more use of the damn thing.


Thursday, February 17, 2022

Working Town

Here's a song I wrote about twelve years ago after finding the courage to give up a lucrative I.T. career and moving back to Scooterville in order to begin a life of mindfulness, creativity, charity and guidance... so I thought. Immediately there was resistance. The song was in reflection of that, an observation; in no way a rant. At least that's how it is in my memory.

I was knocked off course, though, and never really got back on the same track. I've become better at some things and worse at others, and never regained so much focus again.

The theme for poetry club this month is transformation. So I dusted this off and compiled a proper video. Looking at the result, song and video arranged over a decade apart, I can see a difference in attitude. I look back at that time with more love and forgiveness. If I was trying to blame others before, that was unwise, and I'm not anymore.

Saturday, February 05, 2022

a·cros·tic /əˈkrôstik/

When I told the Earnest Chef I was working on a collection of crossword puzzles, he looked at me funny and said, "Why?"

I don't know if crossword puzzle mags have ever come with a dedication page but this one will. I'll dedicate to the Earnest Chef and be sure to note why!

This is the first one I came up with and it's called MOP TOPS. If you give it a go, I'd love to hear if you were able to complete it.


1 spidery sea crawler
5 much
9 1st Taiwanese ML pitcher
13 Parachute Club anthem: ____ Up
14 world's youngest mother
15 Goldie
16 Lennon-McCartney tune: Yes ____
17 drillers club
18 1985 Camaro version
19 1964 album
22 ____! Darling
23 what up, dawg
24 Torry sanctuary (abbr)
25 magic dragon
28 Axl Rose project (abbr)
29 in which Doris gets her ____
33 Serbian tabloid
34 ad ____
35 answer to 39-across
37 surplus
39 Tell me ____
40 Heston's crowd
41 to dress up like a wizard or warrior (abbr)
42 sphere or hazard
43 B side to Paperback Writer
44 urgent care source (abbr)
46 Eagles tune ____' 55
47 Let it ____
48 1963 album
56 malbec capper
57 dregs component
58 some for____ not for better…
59 melted mushroom or cranberry accompanier
60 Red and Dead
61 Coppel and Kennedy
62 oracle
63 trained killers
64 consequence of Lennon's Jesus remark


1 house
2 ceremony
3 site of Taj Mahal and the Great Wall
4 greatest hits collection
5 burn soother
6 word-mime
7 Musketeers' chant opener (2 wds)
8 head tilter
9 ____ wants you back again.
10 model Underwood
11 missing from duty (abbr)
12 ____ there was a way to get back homeward
20 southpaw (init)
21 solar god
25 47-across composer
26 elbow bone
27 Fab ____
28 Pan or Yahweh
30 3rd track on 48-across
31 songwriter Amos
32 The Man
34 ____Said, She Said
35 Daltry's crowd
36 ____ & Zel's
38 Ender sequel: ____ of the Dead
39 Mr. Shears Campbell
42 checked out with Valens
43 mends bone
45 percussionist (abbr)
47 sheep utterance
48 toxic coolant banned in 1977 (abbr)
49 legend
50 Ontario feeder
51 hockey's Mr. Tikkanen
52 artsy marketplace
53 six or twelve for instance
54 Thracian tribe
55 ____while

Friday, February 04, 2022

Fried: On the Beach

Perhaps Jane Stewart is too common a name for a Canadian musician trying to make it in the realm of art-pop? For whatever reason, this particular Jane took her maternal aunt's married name and began crushing it as Jane Siberry. 

in 2005 the Canadian Council for the Arts bestowed the Victor Martyn Lynch-Staunton Award upon her for "outstanding artistry in her mid-career." She responded by questioning if her career should continue: she changed her identity, both on stage and off, to Issa, a feminized version of Isaiah, and then immediately wrote thirty-three songs in thirty-three days with a process she described as slowed-down: choosing a note and then waiting patiently to discover the next one.

In 2010 she became Siberry again. 

Spotify has somewhere over half of her material available, up to 2017, under both (separate) identities. Her first two albums are missing, the second of which contained the song Mimi on the Beach, the first of her songs I ever heard, still my favourite, and number three on my Spotifried playlist: