I got rip-roaring sick over the holidays which turned me into a pouting
indulgent lazy slob; a habit that has been hard to give up upon recovery. Then,
in trying to re-capture an iota of discipline and a proper writing habit, I
unleashed a crisis of confidence. Everything I tried to write swiftly prompted
the question: Who would want to read this shit?
The one thing I have done in any responsible measure the last couple months
is research and sustained quiet contemplation. There is much to report from all
that, and much overdue. Very often of late I have questioned my goals and
direction; even my “outer purpose” in life. More on all of that to come.
One thing I think I know though: Writing still has a major role to play for
me, even if it is only to document my struggle for the sake of some peer or
peers on a similar path. In fact, I think that that may be the real purpose of
this blog. That may be the answer I’ve been seeking since I started this – what?
Ten years ago?
I must get back in the writing habit and make it a stronger habit then ever.
My most productive writing came in the years I lived with the Liberal
Theologian. We celebrated her life last night, a year since her passing. We
sang songs and shared words. And food of course! I am inspired by that and also
by the documentary, Life Itself; the
story of Roger Ebert, a (Pulitzer prize-winning) writer and film lover; a man
whose passions I share.
I saw Neo recently. We talked for more than eight hours. It was very comforting.
I will see Renaissance Kid soon and Skeeter Willis and also lean on their good
counsel and energy.
Changes are happening. I have much to share.
Dear friends The Ponderer, The Healer and The Liaison, all fine writers,
two of them so far published, have drawn me into their Constant Writer Club. In
the eternal battle for writing discipline, we have shamelessly adopted the
strategy of small children!
Today I wrote. So I got a sticker on my calendar. Just a small one for now
because it’s only day one of the streak. They’ll get larger as I go to work daily without a day off.
Today’s sticker is a clam. ‘Cause that’s how happy I am to be writing again.