Wednesday, May 24, 2006

You are now fondling a baby-changing station

I was sitting in the cubicle at Tim Hortons. Yes, Tim Hortons - the finest purveyors of public washrooms in Canada (as long as you avoid the supplementary coffee and donut products that they offer at a significant extra charge). I was just sitting there minding my business when my eyes fell upon the diaper changing station mounted to the wall.

I found it curious that there was a large panel of Braille text embossed upon it. I found the mental image of a blind man changing a baby's diaper somewhat disconcerting. In my mind's eye the blind man was rather covered in poop. Now, as one who's never changed a baby diaper I can only theorize so let me ask those of you who have the experience:

Is it possible to change a diaper with your eyes closed and not get poop all over yourself?

I know I shouldn't dismiss the physically challenged but I'm just finding this whole scenario difficult to swallow.

Perhaps I've got this all wrong. Perhaps the Braille text merely reads:

This is a baby-changing station! The toilet is 3 feet behind you. The urinal is 4 feet beyond the cubicle door to your right. Please do not crap or piss on this baby-changing station. Thank you. The Management.

1 comment:

Dave said...

Holy crap!
Nothing, nothing, nothing and then WHAM! 10 posts...give or take. I was beginning to think Steve done you in and stuffed you in a freezer...or maybe you got lost in the Balco-tanical Gardens behind the new pad.
OK...all comments will be here...saves time, dontcha know, and God knows I'm nothing if not someone with a strong work ethic. So since I'm at goes...

I've been hocking up these lovely sinus oysters myself for the past few months, but they aren't hi-lighter might want to get that looked at! If they try to hook you up with OTC allergy meds or Nasonex, tell them to bite you. They've given me all that and it's doing sweetboodiddlysquatfuckall. Next step: antibiotics!

OK, so obviously, we've been there by this point to see the pad...looks cool. Don't knock the paint. Hopefully everything is getting unpacked and put in place. Is that storage cavern empty yet? Not sure if you know or not, but Kel and I have a locker now...lovely new facility, climate controlled...oh, and 24 hour access! hehehe...thought I'd rub that one in. The reason? Well, we bought a condo and we're selling the pad (hopefully, because, like I said, we freakin' bought a place!).

Next...for the love of God, empty that moving landfill you call a car! What's going to happen if you ever hit a deer and want to drag the carcass home for some good eatin'? The image of that branch wedged under your car is too funny. Smart move to tie it up off the road...could have caused a little fire under there...or does it need to be rubbed against another piece of wood? Hmmm...

Mmmm....cheese capalletti. Haven't had that in ages. I've taken to their linguini chicken amatriciana. Either way, they are no match for for ziti tagliati!

OK, you gotta spill it...who is the couch pisser (and thus wife-of-couch-pisser)? Do I know these people? Some people just have no sense of humour when it comes to having their grandkid's arms cut off in some freakish accident.

Moving along...I can't believe that was your first time at Chez Dumas...after knowing them that long. Freaky. And it's a damn good thing the Dumi keep their floor clean. Kinda sounds like a necessity if their dog treats it like his own personal fire hydrant.

About that's called Modern India Buffet, and sadly, I haven't seen the green chicken there since that night we went before the play. Tragic, really. It freaking rocked my world! Not sure what it is with that place, but two plates is the max I can handle...and I feel like I'm getting more full as the night goes on. It is the direct opposite of chinese food. I can eat 6 plates of that stuff and still want more an hour later. I've bitten into a few of those freaky spice pods myself from time to time. Not sure what they are exactly, but they sure seem to give a lot of flavour. Do you think maybe that one shell-like thing you found might have been half of a horizontally sliced bone of some sort? That hollow channel makes me think that, because that is where you would find the marrow.

I've often questioned the location of braille in strange places. My favourite is at the drive-thru ATM. What the hell is THAT all about?

And NOW I'm going to get some work done.

bugs & fishes