Steve-o: The Singles

You know the drill. These are recent random mutterings of the roommate. His songs are in italics.


Simon says… Look Asian.


Look at that! Aren't you amazed by my ying-yang mustard!


Behold! The breakfast burrrrrrrrrritohhhhhh...!


The Neanderthals ate at the worst sushi restaurants. Those fuckers couldn't even cook rice or ginger.


Ah! But I made an awesome pork chawp! If'n I don't say so mah self! Which I just did.


I killed that giant centipede. His last words were, "I wish I'd worked more. I wish I'd paid more taxes."


I'm glad! I'm glad! To have! To have! A friend! A friend! Like Hercules!


And now we're going to play a game called "What's on Stephen's Shit."


You're trying to poison me so you can get my balcony, mother fucker. I saw that episode of Perfect Strangers.


Three blind mice,
Three blind mice,
Stick them in the eye,
Stick them in the eye,
See how they do this,
See how they do that,
See how they do this and that...


So he saved up fifteen loads of sperm and put it in a martini glass - and sure enough it got mixed up with the pina colada mix. Oh my god. It was so funny. I laughed my balls off. And I wasn't even drunk.


Hey mambo! Mambo Italiano! That's my Jerry Lewis singing Mambo Italiano. How did you like it?


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