Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Steve-o: The Singles

You know the drill. These are recent random mutterings of the roommate. His songs are in italics.

Simon says… Look Asian.

Look at that! Aren't you amazed by my ying-yang mustard!

Behold! The breakfast burrrrrrrrrritohhhhhh...!

The Neanderthals ate at the worst sushi restaurants. Those fuckers couldn't even cook rice or ginger.

Ah! But I made an awesome pork chawp! If'n I don't say so mah self! Which I just did.

I killed that giant centipede. His last words were, "I wish I'd worked more. I wish I'd paid more taxes."

I'm glad! I'm glad! To have! To have! A friend! A friend! Like Hercules!

And now we're going to play a game called "What's on Stephen's Shit."

You're trying to poison me so you can get my balcony, mother fucker. I saw that episode of Perfect Strangers.

Three blind mice,
Three blind mice,
Stick them in the eye,
Stick them in the eye,
See how they do this,
See how they do that,
See how they do this and that...

So he saved up fifteen loads of sperm and put it in a martini glass - and sure enough it got mixed up with the pina colada mix. Oh my god. It was so funny. I laughed my balls off. And I wasn't even drunk.

Hey mambo! Mambo Italiano! That's my Jerry Lewis singing Mambo Italiano. How did you like it?

The sentiments expressed above are not endorsed by FWG,, Jerry Lewis, Jerry Lee Lewis, Huey Lewis or Huey, Dewey or Luey. Or anyone, really.


Anonymous said...

Reading about your roomie always makes me laugh. From your previous entry I'm guessing you're planning on leaving your current habitation? Is this the end of your roommate ramblings?

Fantasy Writer Guy said...

Matt, I'm afraid so. But I will encourage his girlfriend to start up a blog and we'll still be able to follow along.

Babs said...

Does Steve-O have a single brother that's always had the desire to move to Arkansas?

Hey, it doesn't hurt to ask, does it?

Fantasy Writer Guy said...

Darling, I don't know anyone who has expressed a desire to move to Arkansas. Probably because they're all in Arkansas already - or in various institutions.

Ha ha. Just kidding!

Babs said...

Do you know I met some guy the other night who moved here...ON PURPOSE! I don't know what his problem was, but I'm pretty sure it was severe.

Anonymous said...

lol, I dunno... I kinda liked the "not endorsed by" at the end teehee