Sunday, October 29, 2017

Aerodynamics

The condo construction office is a trailer basically stuffed with thousands of technical drawings. Literally thousands. They’re laid out in giant booklet form on two great worktables, they’re hanging from rack hangers. They’re rolled into giant rolls and stacked on shelves and on more shelves and standing in bunches on the floor in every corner.

Also of note, in this trailer, is my fat ass on an office chair watching a fail video on my computer while dipping my spoon into a brand new 650 g tub of strawberry yogurt…

…when the chair suddenly bucks. And I jolt so bad that the yogurt tub flies from my hands.

Oh... Oh does it fly.

I have no recollection of its entire unauthorized flight path, surely complete with some number of ricochets, and no ability to reconstruct it based on the patterns of carnage left behind. It looks like a sustained food fight broke out in here.

About 200 g of yogurt remains in the tub which I have picked up off the floor.

Here’s the list off all the things that got splattered with the 450 grams or so of wayward yogurt which I had to clean up:

laptop computer (screen, keyboard and left hinge area)
laptop chill pad
reading glasses
water bottle
the floor
one wall
one window
three table tops
one robust wooden table leg
three (fabric) chairs
one shelf
one file cabinet
somebody’s boots
large utility tub
laptop power cord
my jacket (lining and exterior)
briefcase
binder
notebook
duty cell phone
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
(sorry, that was me scraping dried yogurt off the ‘M’ key)
circular saw blade
oxygen bottle
wall/ceiling molding
my pants
my shirt
my arm
my face
probably my hair; I don’t know. There’s no mirror in here. And last but not least:
one technical drawing. Just one. Out of thousands. It’s an honest-to-god miracle.

And here are the cleaning supplies I had to make do with:

my tongue
refrigerated bottled water
napkins

Thank you for validating this experience with me.
FWG

1 comment:

IntrepidReader said...

Thank you so much for the visual of you cleaning up the yogurt with you tongue!!!!!