A brief chapter from history

So I did some reading about this guy from the early 20th century and concluded he wasn't very nice. Here is his story very briefly:

Adolph Hitler was born in 1889 in the Austrio-Hungarian town of Braunau-am-Inn. He could never make friends because he was terrible at sports and came from a town with a silly name. One day he met Schnitzel the Cat and something clicked. But Schnitzel hated Jewish people and told Adolf they could only be friends if he promised to get rid of them all.

Adolf discovered he did have one talent; he could scream at people and make them feel angry, especially German people. So he pretended to be German and screamed at them and they loved it so much they put him in charge, without even bothering with an election.

He and Schnitzel got to work and killed about six million Jewish people along with some handicapped people and gay people and anyone else Schnitzel didn't like, while the Germans meanwhile were very very careful not to find out what the strange couple were up to. In the German's defense, they were being wooed by the big plots of land that Adolf gifted to them which he stole from Slavic and Polish people.

Luckily some nice people from nice countries (but not Italy or Japan) got together and tried to stop Hitler and Schnitzel's hijinks. They had a big big fight in which things got carried away and a lot of other people with various axes to grind took sides and another 80 million people died from burning, starving or choking to death or from boys shooting each other 'til they bled to death while shitting their pants and crying for their moms, not understanding that they were "heroes" and it was all going to be fine.

After six years of this skirmish some surviving Russian people had Hitler surrounded in his Fury-Bunker so he married his only human friend, Eva Braun, and the very next day, a jealous Schnitzel ruined their honeymoon by murdering them both and fixing the scene to look like suicide.

Fiendish period: 1939-1945

HoF Indictment: Delusional Megalomania

HoF Sentence: 5,950,000,000 years 

HoF stands for Hall of Filth by the way. As HoF Society Admin person I'd like to thank you for attending our very first induction ceremony. I hope you approve of our first ever inductee.

Hitler, Adolf and Schnitzel