Professor Plonk and Captain Vino's Garage Sale

Coffee mugs and drinking glasses
Water jugs and trays for ashes
Ticking clocks, a test tube rack
A binto box all brown and black

DVD's and music tapes
Things with nicks and dents and scrapes
Little jars and cups with lids
They'll buy it all, those crazy kids!

Pepper mills and salt shakers
Balls of yarn, a coffee maker
Incense burners, candle holders
Candles too, don't let them smolder!

Golf balls and tupperware
A hair dryer for those with hair!
And what are these? No one can guess
A milk frother and coffee press!

Novels, cookbooks, little wallets
Widgets, trinkets and whatchamacallits
Gadgets, gewgaws, knick-nackery
But who the heck's Ed Zachary?

A wooden 4-chair dining room suite
Fit for four to sit and eat
That trailer trash, she says she wants it!
Don't return her damn deposit!

Bowls and bottles, knives and spoons
But not that crazy sun and moon
Leave them in the back room closet
What the?? You returned the deposit!

A wheelbarrow, whipper snippers
Garden tools and hedge clippers
A 1970's vintage dresser
Worth a dollar, more or lesser

A lawn mower, a soup ladle
The world's ugliest end table
Come one, come all! You want a bag?
Hide that blemish with the price tag!

They haul it away in their cars and trucks
Look, we've made three hundred bucks!
It's pretty nearly all been bought
Let's give the rest away for nought!