Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Chapter Ten

Chapter Ten
The Calm After The Storm

“Well,” said Philbert as he raised his head and peeked out the absence of a window. “You’re definitely gonna be shopping for a new limo after all, Mickey-boy.”

All the commotion had settled and all was very strangely quiet. Much of the Queen O’ The Dairy lay in ruins though all five dwellers of the dining area were left unscathed. Mickey, Bunny, Philbert and Sir Admiral Premier Gleeg Bleeekxpritzle were now all risen from the debris-ridden floor and carefully peeking out the shattered empty windows. Six giant mechanical beasts lay in smoking heaps as did two limousines; one formerly white and one black; now one black and one extra-black.

“Start talking, Shrek,” squealed Mickey Mouse. “What putrid swamp o’ Dante’s ninth hell did you come slithering out of and who in all of creation turned this restaurant into a rip-roaring climactic scene from some apeshit Star Wars flick?”

“Inquiring minds want to know?” said Bleeekxpritzle.

“Fess up.”

“Much of that information is not fit for public consumption.”

“You pompous green land squid,” said Mickey, shaking his head, his googly eyes narrowed with malice.

“Don’t have a cow, mouse.” the Admiral gurgled.

“What do you expect I should do instead?”

“Run for the hills! They’ve blundered this attack but they’ll try something else in very short order.”

“Is this the end of the world?” said Bunny.

“No. That’s a little way off. Right now, they just want me dead apparently. Unless this was just a warning; unless they bungled it intentionally.”

“Who are THEY?” demanded Philbert.

“If I said, Elton John and Bernie Taupin, would you believe me?”


“If I said, the rest of the universe, would you believe me?”

Mickey and Philbert exchanged glances. “No,” said Philbert.

“Then what would you believe?”

Philbert shrugged. “The North Koreans?”

Bleeekxpritzle smiled ruefully. “Then why ask?”

“Were you made in a secret government lab?” said Bunny.

“I couldn’t say,” said Bleeekxpritzle. “That sentence doesn’t really translate into my language.” He peered around through the windows. “I don’t know if you want to stick it out for the bonus round but I for one am getting the hell out of dodge. It’s been a slice. Live long and prosper!” With that he waved his hand and marched out the front door…

…Sort of.

He certainly seemed as if he were about to depart through the front door but instead he very suddenly halted at the threshold. His squirmy blue-green tentacles moved about before him in some form of extraterrestrial mime routine. “Shiver me timbers,” he said, and turned around.

“What!” said Mickey.

“What indeed,” said the Admiral. The rotund green alien bobbled over to the nearest window and thrust out his feelers. Two of his three eyes, on their stalks, turned to the others. “I don’t think we’re in Kansas anymore.”

Mickey ran to the open front door. “Careful!” cried the Admiral. Mickey was not. He hit the invisible force field head-on and bounced back, landing square on his little mouse butt.

“Oh, Mickey-Sweets, are you okay?” Bunny ran to him.

Admiral Bleeekxpritzle stared at his ruined limousine. Between him tearing himself out of the contraption and the fine mess the Zan-wave lasers had made of its remains, there was little the shell of an auto was capable of hiding from the Admiral’s eyes.

“Mr. Willis…” he murmured.

“Blake,” said the old man. The Admiral seemed not to hear.

“Where are you, Mr. Willis?”

“Blake. I’m right here.”

“What?” said the Admiral.

“Nothing.” The old man tediously returned his spoon to the cup where his half-dessert had become very soft and milky.

Mickey had risen to his feet with Bunny’s assistance. Philbert was reclined on a bench, slumped, his arms crossed. Bleeekxpritzle turned and surveyed them all. “My chauffer is gone,” he announced.

“Join the club,” said Mickey.

“The Mickey Mouse Club?”

“Never mind.”

“Something smells fishy in the town of Denmark,” said Bleeekxpritzle. Mickey and Bunny looked at him. “He sold me out. That bastard sold me out.”

“Huh?” said Philbert, looking up.

“My chauffer is suspiciously absent. I conclude that he is some informant who made possible this ambush. It’s elementary my dears.”

“Are we trapped?” said Philbert.

“Come look out this window,” said the Admiral.

Philbert rose. “What?”

“What do you see?”

“Dead laser gun machines?”

“What else?”

“Stores, houses, streets. Clouds. That one looks like an eggbeater.”

“Fascinating. What’s missing?”

“Eggs? Oh - sorry.” Philbert stared for a moment. “Cars. People.”

“Indeed. And what about the light?”


“The sunlight.”

Philbert frowned. “It’s not quite right, is it? It’s like a couple shades off or something.”

“We are looking at an illusion,” said the alien. “We’ve been taken. The whole building has been taken.”

“What!” yelped Bunny. “But I have a nail appointment this aft. Mickey! Do something! What about my nails?”

“Sit down here, Baby. I’ll think of something.”

“Will we be rescued?” said Philbert.

“By whom?” squorbled the Admiral.

“By whoever shot up those machines; whoever saved us from the laser attack.”

“Ah. So that is how you see it? Well, it wouldn’t hurt you to hope. Whoa! Soup’s on!” said Bleeekxpritzle. He had suddenly noticed five large-size blitz cups standing on the serving counter. “That looks like my breakfast! Come and git it afore I slop it to the hogs!” He marched straight to the counter and picked up a cup of rather unadorned and half-melted ice cream. It immediately screamed the ungodliest of screams at him and he dropped it back on the counter as he jumped an involuntary step backward.

But then he realized that the scream had more likely come from the teenage girl who lay on the floor behind the counter in a foetal position, next to a cup which lay on its side in a fine puddle of dairy. She turned her head to peek again at the three hovering eyeballs gazing down at her from the ends of three green stalks and again she screamed.

“I think someone should comfort this child,” announced the alien. “But I may be the wrong candidate, frankly.”

Bunny and Mickey came forward. Bunny went to the girl while Mickey went to the door to the back area. “I’m gonna find a phone,” he squeaked. He pulled open the door and immediately closed it again. “No, I’m not,” he said. Bunny gently pulled the girl to a sitting position and sat on the floor beside her, holding her hand.

Bleeekxpritzle went to the door and opened it for himself to discover nothing but a black void on the other side. So he took his cup to the old man’s table to find the old man half-canted in his seat, his eyes closed. The Admiral sat across from him, took Mr. Blake’s bony little wrist and felt a moment for a pulse. Satisfied the codger was only sleeping, he then took up a random spoon and attacked his breakfast. It was disappointingly plain. Clearly the Tweeporan attack had interrupted the preparation of his meal. And he knew very well that only the Tweeporans could be behind it. And just to remove all doubt, there suddenly came a knock at what was left of the front door.

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