Monday, March 06, 2006

The Rise and 'Crash' of the Academy

I’m stunned.

Several times I’ve rented a movie so bad that I gave up on it and turned it off midstream. Death Wish comes to mind as do Die Hard II and Die Hard III (I know! I know. I should have learned my lesson but I had rented them simultaneously. What can you do at that point?)

Crash - I did not turn off mid-way despite it being a terribly terribly bad - in fact incompetent - excuse for a film. One - because it was train-wreckishly fascinating. Two - because it deserved a chance to redeem itself. I had hoped that eventually things would roll around to the point where one or more characters actually showed signs of development (I’d take partially-developed even, if not fully) or to the point where a plot element hinted at having any kind of depth; any kind of significance beyond the painfully obvious.

Nope. The credits arrived and nothing had rolled around - except for a string of drool from my motionless vegetatative face.

I searched the DVD box for any mention that this was a TV show as opposed to a motion picture or that it had been a grade-4 school project (No offense intended toward nine-year-olds by the way. I realize many of you could have written and directed something far superior).

Crash was literally the worst movie I’ve personally seen in the 21st century. There’s likely worse but none that I’ve been fool enough to see. Crash was given the Best Picture Oscar yesterday.

I’m stunned.

Not at the appearance that the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences is some kind of conspiring ill-intentioned pack with a hidden agenda. No, that’s true of so many organizations. But that they’re suddenly clear and unapologetic about it. That they’ve willingly joined the ranks of the advertisers, churches and politicians in thinking they’re an ingrained enough institution that they can fly on obvious bull-shit and not be the target of outrage.

Either that or they’re all drooling idiots. But I’m going with the conspiracy theory.

Sorry for the rant.



Dave said...

Yo Mo-Fo Beotch! Y'all jus donno wut w'all go thru in da hood. If you jus axe wut it like fo us, you get it, bro. You don know nuttin' bout bein' black but wut y'all see on da Cosby show!
It's hard out here for a pimp!

Fantasy Writer Guy said...

Futchu mang! Whatchu talkeeng bout, creole? Back off or I cutchu.

(Hmm. my word-verification is drmui. Who's Dr. Mui? Sounds ominous)