Skeeter Willis Report: Hello!

Hello. I’m new here – and I have a problem. That’s the first step – admitting that you’ve got a problem.

My problem is that the FWG has invited me to be a guest writer - and I’m not a writer. I don’t pretend to be – nor do I have the slightest idea what to write about.

Correction - 2 problems. No skills AND no ideas.

I suppose I should be honored. Mr. Visionary thinks he sees something in me that I haven’t yet learned about myself. Who am I to question his observation? After all, he’s the writer, the professional – not me. He’s well aware of the skill set and behaviors required. I certainly don’t. So, I’m intrigued. “Me? Write? On your blog? Wow.”

I first learned about this blog after the posting of the “Real swell email survey” and I’ve been a devoted follower ever since. Partly because:

1. I find this site extremely entertaining and well written;
2. I’m nosy as hell, and
3. I like to increase the site hit-counter a few times a day to drive FWG crazy.

But back to the email survey - I was quoted a few times by the FWG – so I think to myself: “Hey! I’ve already published Internet material! This is easy! No pressure. I can do this.” So I accept his challenge – foolishly, I suppose. If you recall, I have no skills AND no ideas.

I request suggestions from my new mentor– a topic - some sort of framework to work within. Anything. And what response do I get? NOTHING. Mr. Inspiration doesn’t want to limit nor influence my creativity. He wants me to fly solo. Mr. Generous ' only suggestion, and this is hardly parameter setting, is to “just be myself”…

Crap.

I realize that I can’t be myself. I need an alias. Everyone has an alias on this site: Captain Vino, Professor Plonk, Rocking Rod, Porn King, even the origami queen…. EVERYONE. Now I need one. Where the heck do I get one of these? Do I pick a name that identifies a funny behavior of mine? A physical characteristic? A smokescreen to completely throw everyone off my scent?!? Who knows?

For those of you keeping score – There's now 3 problems: No skills, no ideas AND no alias.

Wait a minute…I DO have something…I have an online gaming alias known as “Skeeter” - Shortened from Skeeter Willis. It was a name that a friend of mine came up with back in our university days – not necessarily for me. It was a trend of nicknames that he would call anybody that he spoke to – nicknames that included: Earl, Elmo, Skeeter Willis, Buttwad, Viking Stud, and some others that I’ve forgotten. He was either too lazy to remember everyone’s actual names or he thought he was just being funny. Either way, the “Skeeter” name has always stuck in my brain – so I started using it for Internet gaming to ensure my anonymity. That works. I suppose it will work here as well.

I shall, from this point forward, be known as Skeeter!!!

One problem down, two to go.... but wait.... wait....

LOOK UP! I've written something that resembles a blog article - arguably about nothing, but an article none-the-less. Sweet.

Well, two out of three ain't bad. Let me try this again...


Hello. My name is Skeeter, and I’m a guest writer.

No problem.