Thursday, September 13, 2007

Bourne Ulti-made-dumb


Note to director Paul Greengrass:

HOLD THE !#$#!&@ CAMERA STILL! WHAT THE @$!* IS WRONG WITH YOU!

Ahem.

This film is a triumph given it was filmed entirely inside a washing machine during the spin cycle. This film will be enjoyed by anyone fond of regurgitating their dinner and few others. It might also be tolerated by those with Terminal A.D.D. or those who for whatever reason love non-dimensional movies that begin and end with a single exhausting two-hour climax and nothing else.

I personally survived it by training my eyes on the dark corner of the theatre just right of the screen - much as you watch the shoulder of the road when some jackass approaches with his high-beams on.

2 comments:

Dave said...

Amen sister! As you know, I felt severely nauseaus throughout that film. I had to just sit back with my eyes closed to prevent myself from puking my tubes. Perhaps it was the popcorn with the white cheddar seasoning which contained enough salt to cure a ham, but if I never see a movie shot like that again it will be too soon.



BTW, I didn't realize you were planning to head home that night or I would have said goodbye before dragging myself upstairs to bed with my bucket.

Kathleen said...

Having read the books, and then seeing the first movie, I have given the remaining Bourne movies a miss. Why name a movie after a book if you're not going to follow the freaking book AT.ALL.????