Saturday, June 14, 2008

Who doesn't love a parade?

I survived the Umpteenth Annual Streetsville Bread and Honey Festival.

Here are the top ten highlights from the parade. You'd better sit down for this. Our parades are very very exciting. I don't want you to get overstimulated and fall down.

Counting down:

10. Some dude in a company van. Ooooh! Ahhhh! But wait. It gets even better.




9. Girl Guide cookies made out of real girl guides.




8. The Bread and Honey mascot. We thought a bee might be appropriate but we couldn't afford a bee suit so we borrowed this bear suit instead. From the Royal Bank. He's called 'Royal the Bear'. I guess. Okay, I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about.




7. Inflatable cake. This was just before they tried to light the candles. That didn't go down well at all.




6. Pooch doggies! everyone loves the pooch doggies!




5. Pillow people. These folks each had a pillow with either the word, Love or Peace embroidered on it. They spent half the time showing peace and love to the crowd and half the time beating each other senseless with the pillows.




4. The spikey-helmet people. You can't see the spikes on their helmets 'cause I'm a shitty photographer but trust me, they're there. They had to be kept away from the inflatable cake.




3. The Streetsville Rapist.




He's a bug-eyed sonofabitch, that Streetsville Rapist. But sort of a nice guy. Quiet. Keeps to himself.




2. Wrong Way Bicycle Club.




And the number one most intersting feature of the Streetsville Bread and Honey parade:




1. The dreaded Streetsville Smudge. Okay, I think I might have licked my camera lense by mistake.

10 comments:

Claudia said...

Holy shit, I woulda put up my dukes if I had seen that blue monstrosity heading towards me and my kids.

Ew.

Mark Cohen said...

Just a quick note to say thank you for sharing your wierd-ass humour with the rest of the world. It's a brighter place for it :)

Dave said...

Your bread and honey bear looks more like a lion from that pic. Maybe he's a cross bred mascot. Sort of like a liger. I guess he's be a lear...or a bion. What the hell am I talking about? It's too early.
Love how one of the cookies is missing a big chunk. Hopefully her arm wasn't removed in the attack. Mmmmm....Girl Guide cookies.

Fantasy Writer Guy said...

Warned you I didn't know what I was talking about. Clearly it is indeed a lion and not a bear. Duh.

Mark, Thank you kindly.

Supermom, I will eandeavor to keep the Streetsville Rapist from migrating to Vancouver. You shall be safe.

Fantasy Writer Guy said...

Endeavor.

Endeavor.

End.

Dev.

Vor.

Kathleen said...

Holy crap, people turned out for that???? I can guess I safely assume that Streetsville is a tad boring?

I think the Detroit Thanksgiving Day parade is boring, but Streetsville has given me a new appreciation for it. Not that I'll watch it or anything ridiculous like that.

I was going to tell you that it was a lion, but I guess Dave beat me to it.

MrGripe said...

Nice blog. Can I call you "Fantasy Writer Guyseph"?

Fantasy Writer Guy said...

You may. But only you. And only if I can call you Joeseph.

Claudia said...

I didn't think it was a lion, lol! I thought someone was on crack when creating it...

Claudia said...

Ah oh I see now.. the LION from the Royal bank... eh... still grossed out from the rapist thingy...

Thanks FWG, please continue to guard over me and my kids!