Saturday, August 02, 2008

Death by Haircut

Okay, it's like this, see. I'm sick but without the usual sore throat, drippy nose thing. The symptoms are very strange and are all located on my left side and above the shoulder.

- very stiff neck
- overly-sensitive skin (beard stubble feels like daggers on my neck)
- hives
- visible swelling of the neck and cheek
- ear-infection-type discomfort in ear
- tender swolen lymph nodes
- extremely sore areas on scalp
- fever

Sounds fun, eh? I'm living in a blurry world because it hurts to wear my glasses!

Luckily work has been slow and I've basically worked half-days the last few days and from home, at that. Gawd bless the internet.

Been hounding doctors to give me antibiotics but that of course is like trying to get gold out of Fort Knox. They gave me Naproxin or something like that - an anti-inflamatory. Hasn't done shit so far. Basically if you come crawling back to the doctor a week or more after your initial visit with all your hair fallen out and your bloody entrails dragging behind you they'll begin considering antibiotics. I have a few days to go.

Most unfortunately our lacrosse playoffs run this week and I'm in no condition to squish my head into a helmet let alone play the game.

Speaking of my head, it was feeling rather hot and sweaty yesterday and I realized I was touting way too much hair, so I popped across the street to one of the barbers.

I wasn't thinking clearly.

I got a great haircut.

I also learned what it is to be tortured.

There are hives on my head, you see. And for whatever reason, I didn't feel like asking Aldo for special treatment. He raked his comb across the sores over and over and over again until I was sure my brain was exposed.


Oh dear god, ouch.

Image rudely pickpocketed from Splash Magazine


Sukhaloka said...

Ah, join the club FWG. Although mine IS the biennial snotty-nose-sore-throat-high fever deal :P

Oh, and maybe in your condition an aborted haircut would be better than ripped scalp, no?

Anonymous said...

Sounds awful!!

I cam over to see you from Ingsoc by the way...

Anonymous said...

Hives eh? Why the eff would they prescribe a THAT (which is basically ibuprofen-AND you need to eat before you take it or it will rot your stomach-yes I have these too)??

Get thee to a drugstore for some antihistamines and see if it helps you any.