Saturday, December 20, 2008

News Flashes

FWG Still Alive
And kicking. He just hasn’t blogged in a while. Presumably, he’s been busy putting together the dynamics of his new, post-corporate lifestyle and income sources and not sitting around watching movies, playing Halo, and writing a
love-life advice column over at Crushed By Ingsoc, but one can never be sure.

Book Barn in Limbo
I approached the bookseller with the following offer: Let me set up a portable residence on this property, gimme two meals a day, and I’ll catalogue and merchandise your entire stock of books and give you an old computer with which you will access the catalogue; an estimated six-month arrangement.

The good news: The bookseller - let’s call him ‘Jack’ (since that’s his name) thought that was a fine idea!

The bad news: He neither owns the property, lives on the property or owns the major segment of the retail businesses. He just works part-time for the primary merchant in exchange for subletting the second floor for his books. He’s broke and lives off what little he makes selling the books. Furthermore, the City of Oakville which has allowed them both to do business for the last ten years on this rural property, has finally cracked down and demanded they cease operation or else cough up twenty thousand dollars to have the property legally re-zoned for commercial use. This kind of money is way beyond reach of either businessman or the landlord.

So the deal is a bust and the timeline for resolution of their dilemma is too long for me to wait around to see what part I might be able to play. As both operations are entirely to do with the reintroduction to market of used materials, otherwise potential landfill burden, in an age of environmental concern, I offered to organize a petition drive if indeed it could be determined that such would carry influence (many thanks to Terry-Anne for advice on this matter). But as for my own subsistence, I need to move on with specific plans. Mister Mastercard has been generous but I can't go on being his bitch forever.

Movin’ On
After a five-year absence, FWG is returning to Steeltown. Biodad and Judy took a major financial hit during his illness and could really use some tenant income for a while in order to catch up. Moving from a very large three-bedroom apartment into a single room may be just the right temporary logistics on route to a mobile lifestyle. More importantly, the Illicit Sweetheart lives nearby and has endorsed the move. And by endorse, I mean that when old fat guys are having a thing with someone young and gorgeous, old fat guys know how to play ball. It’s one of the primary laws of the universe. The Law of the Cookie. He who has the cookie does the telling, and he who hasn’t got the cookie, does the listening. ‘Nough said.

Oh My Hurtin’ Fingers
My three middlin’ fingers are constantly numb and the tips of them sting whenever they touch something - like the goddam keys on this here keyboard for instance. It’s some rare medical condition known as learning to play guitar. It’s true. The amazing Doc Lock gave me my first ever guitar lesson Monday night in exchange for an eight-dollar meal at the Super Happy Fantastic Chinese Noodle House* and the next day I went out and bought my very own Godin La Patrie Etude six-string classical guitar! I've learned a few chords and declared war on a few others. So far I entirely suck at it but that’s okay. I won’t be performing any concerts. It’s just a tool for the process of writing songs from some of my poems that demand they be made into songs. They do that sometimes. I can’t ignore their pleas any longer.

I am a New Day Rising
And so are you. So there.

*Not the correct name for this particular noodle house which really deserves proper attribution because it totally rocks for its BBQ pork and cheap cheap prices. I'll get back to you on that.


-eve- said...

The 'moving on' part cheered me up! Am vicariously enjoying your progress ;-)
And kudos on learning to play the guitar - even if it's sexist, I feel that all men should be able to play the guitar! ;-)

Anonymous said...

F sharp was the BITCH to conquer when I was first learning.

And then I learned Greensleeves and some lullabies and Stand By Me and the bass for Satisfaction... then I stopped LOL

Crushed said...

Well, its good to see you've been busy.

I wish I could play a guitar, but I can't.

I like the Law of the Cookie...

Roger said...

All Hail the LAW of the Cookie!

to bad about the book barn, that would have been sweet.

pick up a cheep guitar book with a CD, really helps.