abbey [ab-ee]

I would very much wish to go off and apply to some monastery. I imagine it would be a profoundly appropriate and productive experience, where I would further my understandings, test them through dialogue with qualified peers, and most importantly, learn how to leverage them. And there I would be forced to develop discipline; my great downfall. That I might be further separated from the people in the world I most love, on top of the other hurdles and barriers which already separate us, would be the main drawback.

The greater problem though, is that there are no existing spiritual enterprises that I know of which I could subscribe to without hitting fundamental barriers. There are key understandings, so ingrained in my unarguable living experience, they will not bend for anyone. For instance, key Christian fundamentals are taught backwards with regards to causality, while too much useful wisdom is cloaked in metaphor. And there is such a failure to communicate Christ as a relevant and accessible role model. Buddhism, as it is taught suffers profound unnecessary contradictions, while Buddha too, is treated too much on a pedestal; like Christ, his experience presumed too unreachable. Not good. Humanism has so many merits but seems not to have done the math; has not found the joy and inspiration; has not grasped the miracle at the end of the equation.      

To create such a spiritual enterprise that is free of such problems as these; which wraps everything up in a circle of logic and universal inclusivity, would be some great achievement, and I truly believe the basic blueprints lay at hand. But I have little ability to lead people or inspire them to such great ends. The way to nourish in this present society seems to be in self-help books I suppose, while cathedrals loom about; dull and archaic.