Thursday, December 10, 2015

Venting: a closer look

I want to thank IntrepidReader for this excellent and thoughtful comment. My wish is that more readers would challenge what I have to say in order that I can identify what I've failed to explain or else expose me to a useful new idea: 

I like to vent. Not because I think I am better than anyone else, but because sometimes my anger and frustration are too great for me to deal with without first blowing off steam. Sometimes I vent because my anxieties cause me to question my own feelings and it becomes an is it them or is it me situation. And sometimes, getting the feelings out makes the situation seem less give perspective. I think venting is a totally healthy and human interaction, that's why we have blogs and friends etc. Now, constant venting without addressing the problem or taking action...that's a whole different thing.

We all claim not to think we're better than everyone else but our instinctive ego is always trying to feel that way and is always subconsciously perverting our feelings to that end. I know that I'm better than most people at some things and far worse than most people at other things! And I know that my own ego doesn't prefer to see it that wayI The ego is never satisfied and always wants more. I once put a ton of work and contemplation into trying to isolate and understand my own instinctive forces. It was literally the central focus of my life for a while; all while other people were busy doing the necessary work which enables me to lead a materially comfortable life - for which I am grateful! My duty is to complete the circle by sharing what I've learned; regardless that few people want to believe in me or give me credit for my accomplishments, which is fine. My ego doesn't like that but it has less power over me than it once did so that's fine!

I concede that venting is a healthier alternative than some, in dealing with anger, frustration and other tensions which we feel are products of external forces such as other people's poor behavior.

However: I have personally never in my life experienced any form of anger or frustration that I don't now realize was a product of my own flawed reactions to external sources; not the sources themselves. I don't believe I have ever experienced a kind of anger or frustration which I don't now perceive as societal illness which the mainstream fails to recognize as such.

The healthier scenario, not to venting but to a reliance on venting is to be more mindful and inward-looking until we get enough of a handle on our masked instincts, the gap between they and our conscious self, and the illusions thereof, that we develop reactions more in tune with reality, which do not necessitate anger or frustration.

In reality, given my constantly-improving perceptions of causality, the nature of the the universe, life and humanity, I know that I have nothing whatsoever to be angry or frustrated about, though I am still not immune!

I now experience a small fraction of the anger and frustration I once did in life and even now, when I do, an alarm usually quickly signals that I am participating in illusion and swiftly I recover and have a little laugh at myself, though I occasionally have my bad days when this process lags. I must say ardently: It is extraordinarily peaceful and joyful to live this way, and still I have room for improvement. And it is supposedly my purpose in life to help propagate and further understand this evolution which I interpret as being vital to the future (and even survival) of the human race, though I seem to tumble off this game-plan with unfortunate regularity.

Yes, if we seem to be venting but are actually looking for some kind of solution, then that is useful! I think that my associates sometimes perceive I am venting when I am not; partly from projection and partly because I can get intense in a conversation because I'm struggling to explain something which I dearly wish to explain properly. That intensity can be misinterpreted.

When we get steamy, then yes, at that point, better to blow it off! But with Grampa Munster it is the exact same complaints over and over and over again. If it were someone with a more competent mind I would tell him to put a cork in it or find another audience. I think IntrepidReader agrees (as does The Healer): Repeated venting of the same issue reveals your failing to deal with the problem and it is an indulgence to lean on an audience at that point.

My goals in life are very difficult to achieve because there is no satisfactory existing framework within our society that I know of, for me to enlist with. I need to waste less of my time, which is mostly my own fault, but still it makes me feel resistant to other people wasting my time, including the above repeated-venting scenario or that in which we complain about items of perfectly typical human behavior which are not news; which occur throughout the world a million times a second.  

Yes, venting has its healthy benefits, but only within the paradigm of normal society which is a society of illusions. Yes, when we find ourselves venting, let us use it to look for solutions and keep my claim in mind: That in our truly healthiest state there is no opportunity to vent. In our healthiest state we grasp the inevitability of everything around us, including poor behavior, realize it is not to be taken personally, except when deceived by the ego, and realize that the imperfections of an otherwise beautiful and miraculous human race represent opportunity and not despair!

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