Friday, November 04, 2016

The science guy

Perhaps some people like sharing bad news. Secretly or unknowingly or otherwise. It makes sense that the ego would dig it.

But I know that I don’t; not at this point in my life. And I feel sober driving home from work where I just finished laying such a bleak comment on the likebook post of a senior woman; a friend of a friend, who only wished to share a message of hope: a video of Bill Nye, the science guy telling us all that fixing global warming is easy. We just have to vote for whatever party most champions renewable energy!

I have loved so many Science shows.

But this is such an absurdity. Such a completely false hope, and such a distraction from the critical realities.

So here I am: just a little impatient; just a little frustrated; feeling a sense of duty to punch a hole through the darkness and liberate just a few rays of light. I responded and pointed out the nonsense in such a brief way that I expect any reader will easily sidestep it, in accordance with whatever force is in their mental driver seat at this particular leg of the trip.

Was it useful for me to post this?

Years ago, prominent fundamental changes to my behavior were manifested by a completely overhauled system of understandings. A system infinitely more honest and accurate. I know that these changes were very evident to some people, virtually unnoticed by others, deeply respected by some, and received with suspicion by others.

One major change that is very unlikely detected by others is this: I became far less interested in impressing people; far less concerned with my reputation or garnering respect. This evolution has not been perfect but a very significant change has been steady: I generally no longer jump into conversations the moment I have something to say which eclipses what is already being said. I have no eagerness to show off what I know. My organic reaction has reversed. When I hear ideas being shared which lack specific wisdom which I am strong in; I don’t automatically rush in. There is almost always a buffer period where I consider such things as: Is my insight going to be useful here? Is this person likely to understand it or be willing to learn? Frankly, might they be intelligent enough for it? Or potentially free enough of the relevant illusions to be open to the this idea? Is this audience likely to respect me enough to give this serious consideration? Am I actually prepared to put this complex set of understandings into words?” It sounds cumbersome but on the ground it happens quickly, organically and imperfectly. It takes only a moment.

In essence there are several classes of people among my associates: There are dull people I am forced to associate with, such as in workplaces. There are old friends who are hopelessly tragically locked into the matrix who now fear me but who were so close at one time that we have not been able to sever our relationship. It is with them that I constantly play dumb. I constantly listen and nod to their insanity and happily let them assume I am as deep into La-La land as they are. I realize there is a terrible condescending going on here but how can I help it? I don’t think about this sad state when I am with them (less and less often as time goes on). I sort of turn off my capacity to judge. I sort of unplug my bullshit detector.

There are the many new friends I have made who perceive me as the more gentle, loving person who I have become and who are interested in my ideas.

But then there is a certain sector of associates: often older friends from a while back, but not always, who do not often fit the mold of my current kin: not the writers, musicians, artists, misfits, criminals, the deeply-wounded, the outsiders… often they are straight-shooting career-and-family people who do a good job assembling wealth and reputation but who are intelligent for real; not just clever, who I sense have a capacity for wisdom, who have a capacity for authentic kindness and generosity. And it is with these special people who I am least patient around! It is with them where I am more instinctively eager to jump in on a conversation.

I think it is because with them I am always seeing their potential; always expecting them to break out of the matrix, or running on the assumption that perhaps they already have. I am wanting to feel that they are as tuned in as I in specific terms of… spirituality?

With them I do not condescend. With them, if I sense something unenlightened is being said, I am quick to interrupt it, I think because I want to deny that something lame, something instinct-driven would come from them. It’s partly a charade I suppose. It is unenlightened of me to play such a game (if that indeed is what is going on). In this scenario I am hardly present, am I?

So what happens is: I forget myself and jump in with a poorly-thought-out statement, probably sounding like any other jack-ass who just likes to be right, and then immediately realize what I have done; that I am not being mindful, and then shut down. And I do not further explain what I have just said. And then I come to peace with it and generally then remain silent for a while.

What has just happened then? Perhaps my statement will serve as a nudge in a useful direction; perhaps not.

Now in the case of this mature woman whose little facebook garden of hope I just trampled… what the hell did that accomplish?

I should not have been eager to jump in, for that is what I did, and for no noble reason at all. I should have been patient. I should have devised the most useful nudge and been gentle.

FWG: This is not remotely how to stop climate change. This is baloney. Industrial renewable energy is a fantasy. It is a way for companies to take buckets of money from the public for development of systems which still require massive industrialization/extraction to build and maintain and will go on killing a planet that is half destroyed already. The only way to reverse global warming and related catastrophes is to drastically reduce birth-rates and give up car culture and a lot of other absurd luxuries that we all take for granted and which the earth simply cannot provide without mortgaging the future. Our lives are a complete fantasy. Completely unsustainable and pretty much nobody has both the brains and the guts to look at the truth. When we came here and destroyed native culture we sealed our demise. Only native/aboriginal cultures have lived in partnership with the earth. Only they have considered the future in their actions. There is no other way (barring continued expansion and destruction outward to asteroids, other planets, other systems, etc)

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