Sunday, March 18, 2018

I need a plastic bag or else comped for a pair of socks, please.

The socks were new after all..

Sick Boy and I were having a little write-in at one of sixty-something Scooterville Tim Horton’s locations; one recently renovated and, at this time, barely attended. I vanished from the table - briefly I expected - in order to drop off a couple wee kids at the pool.

I did so, and then discovered that the T.P. dispenser was ill equipped to dispense anything. It was as vacant as a North American politician’s heart or brain.

So I sat there, waiting for someone else to come in so that I could ask them to fetch help from the staff.

And I sat there.

I flushed… and sat there some more.

And some more.

Apparently males do not use bathrooms in this neck of the woods.

And I sat there… wondering how long before Sick Boy became concerned enough to maybe check on me or something.

And finally the lights turned off, presumably due to motion sensor inactivity.

And I sat there in the pitch dark…

And sat there.

Finally, in the dark, I kicked off a shoe…

Later I would have to find it in the dark.

Later still, I approached the young cashier at the counter and said: “You’re out of toilet paper AND soap in the men’s room.”

“Okay. Thank you.”

“And therefore I need a plastic bag or else comped for a pair of socks, please.”

Deer in headlights.

“I beg your pardon?”

“I therefore need a plastic bag in which to transport home a wet pair of socks OR ELSE I need compensation for throwing them away.”

“Um. Oh.”

“They were brand new socks,” I said, nodding, wide-eyed, as if to say, yes, you understand correctly.

“Let me talk to my manager.”

“By all means. And can I get a large hot chocolate please?”

Maybe I’ll get the drink free, I thought. I didn’t.


It’s actually a nice bag but I don’t think I’ll re-use it.

2 comments:

Unknown said...

It's been a few hours and I'm STILL laughing so hard at this. If I ever need a laugh in the future, I'll come back to this post....

..and in the future, if you take longer than 15 minutes in the loo, I'm going in or sending someone in to inquire if you need TP or not. Poor you.

And poor socks.

IntrepidReader said...

Oh Rich! Best post ever! LOLOL. I have lost more than one glove and a pair of underwear in similar situations...! The underwear was polka dot and the toilet was a porta potty...imagine the next users face if they looked down the hole and saw polka dots. Life certainly has it's humorous moments! (even if they are not humorous till later) Note to self: if Rich tries to offer me a pair of free socks, I should politely decline.