Wednesday, December 29, 2021

I get it, Metro. I'm irrelevant.

December 20, 2021: Nothing in my kitchen but Kraft Dinner and soup. I place a $226 order with Metro Ontario Inc supermarket for delivery December 21, 6-8PM. This leaves $2 in my bank account.

December 21, 2021: I sit at the front door in my walker waiting from 6PM until 10:30PM. No delivery ever arrives. I go to bed with very little food and no money

December 22, 2021, 6AM: I submit a problem ticket through the Metro Inc. web site help centre.

December 22, 2021, 9:06AM: Metro acknowledges receipt of problem ticket "Delivery Late Order" and promises "our Customer Care team will review your request and happily assist you within 24 hours."

Not 24 hours later but 49 hours later:

December 24, 2021: email from Metro reads "Unfortunately the store has asked for a rescheduling on this order so, we would ask you to contact us toll free at 1-866-595-5554 to confirm a timeslot. 

We will send you a promotional code for 25$ by email to be use on a next online grocery order. You should receive your promotional code within a week. Don't forget to check in your junk mail folder."

I reply as follows:

I am having difficulties with my phone.
I am home ALL the time. I can receive an order any time. Can you please send my order, or else refund it, ASAP? I have no money and almost no food except what you possess. Please. I am disabled, on social assistance and desperate. 
Rich Landriault

December 25, 2021: Metro delivery service is now closed for the holidays. Merry Christmas

December 26, 2021, 10:50AM: Metro informs that my order has been cancelled and my account "will be refunded." Furthermore: "We’d love to hear from you! Share your thoughts about your online grocery shopping experience and you could be eligible to win $1,000 in free groceries! "

Well, that's fucking super. While you are totally victimizing a marginalized person, you're planning something real super nice for some random dude. Well, that just warms my heart y'all mutherfuckers!

December 27, 2021, 5:35AM: I post to the Metro Ontario Food & Beverage Company facebook page:

I am disabled and trying to live on $700/month. I spent my last $226 on groceries, with my shelves bare, on Dec 20 for delivery Dec 21. No groceries have been delivered nor any explanation why not. I begged for either my food or my money and got no reply. Yesterday you cancelled my order and still I have no refund. I have spent my holidays going hungry. How can you do this to someone? I AM HUNGRY !!!!!!!!!!! "

(I'm not actually hungry because I have friends and family who have taken care of me but that is not to Metro's credit. They do not deserve to know that.)

I added this comment: "ORDER 94516646. I am not available by phone at this time, due, essentially, to financial challenges."

December 27, 2021, 7:21AM: email received from Metro: "We are sorry that you were not completely satisfied with your online shopping experience. This email is to confirm your refund on order 94516646RO. The total amount of the returned items and/or service fees will be credited to your account."

I keep hearing about this "refund" concept but I don't know what they mean by that word since to date it has not manifested in me getting my money back. To their credit they have surrendered a reply to my facebook post:

Metro Ontario

Hello Rich! We are sorry to hear about this situation. For any request for a refund of a product, you can fill this document, one of our agents will evaluate your request and will carry out the refunding for you in the next days. This can be done within 14 days of the purchase date: https://www.metro.ca/.../help-center/reimbursement-form-qc. Please be advised that your concerns will be forwarded to Metro management. In order to restore the situation as soon as possible, we also invite you to contact the dedicated online grocery service at 1-866-595-5554 #3 for any other questions. Thank you very much and once again, we are sorry for this situation!

Well, the product refund request is completely inappropriate, as is the offering of a phone number after what I just said. But at least I know they are pursuing "the restoration of the situation" which means absolutely nothing but thanks for hurling a couple words at the wall to see if they stick. They didn't.

December 28, 2021: One full week later and still no food and no money. But I am seeing the beautiful subtext of their facebook reply. Here is their reply in other words:

Dear human: We are a corporation and so we make all the rules which govern our interaction. You are just a measly human product. In order to make this perfectly clear we give you a response to your adorable mewling; a response so utterly inappropriate in every line as to make you certain that no actual human employee wasted any of our time actually comprehending anything you have to say. Your resistance is futile. Maybe you'll actually get that "refund" some day. Maybe you will even get that $25 voucher that we conveniently packaged in a junk-mail trigger format so that it will hopefully go missing.

Well fuck you, Empire! As the great Princess Leia said: "Take your broken heart, turn it into art." I give you:

Every Corporate Apology Ever



No comments: