April A-Z: Ketchup Action

So I just asked my table-mates here at the Camp NaNoWriMo Tuesday night write-in at West Hamilton’s Williams Coffee Pub, What deep dark secret do you most want to know concerning…

Ketchup.

Here’s what inquiring minds want to know:

1 - Why is every ketchup brand precisely the same colour?

2 - Why is Heinze such a universally dominant brand with no significant competitor threat in its history; a claim virtually unique in the food industry?

3 - The labels lists the ingredient spices. What are the spices?

It’s fast-answers day here at NaNo-A-to-Z Central, so here’s some fast answers:

According to leading Area 51 conspiracy theorists, onion and garlic powders are a given while the covert ingredient leading suspects include allspice, anchovies, nutmeg, coriander, cloves, cinnamon, bay leaf and black pepper.

Through personal discussion I have heard testimony around Heinze’s dominance to do with it being the perfect invention from day one. Heinze ketchup is perhaps the perfect food, with perfect balances between sweet and sour; between salty and… sweet…? Whatever…   

And according to the deep dark suspicions of internet lurker Evil Horner, ketchup colour is largely influenced by the presence of turmeric. So there.

And now to conclude this totally sucky post… a very lame joke (and don’t be scandalized, the offending organ is surely artificial).