Saturday, May 31, 2008

FWG the Amazing Botanist

You know I don’t like to show off but these accomplishments demand publicity:

I’ve finally made a worthwhile contribution to the floral esthetics of the Streetsville Looney Bin Shared Terrace. I have potted my very own plant! It’s true!


It’s a Parrotflower plant! Not bad, eh?

Here’s the secret to growing your very own Parrotflower plant:

1. Find a giant weed growing out of your balcony patio stones.
2. Steal your neighbor’s broken pot and enclose the weed between each half of the broken pot.
3. Steal your neighbor’s decorative wooden parrot and add to the pot. That’s right. Believe it or not, that’s not a real parrotflower. It’s just a wooden parrot in disguise! Convincing, isn’t it?

Another recent botanical accomplishment at the Grotto of Cool: Turn your tomato into a tomato plant! No soil, water or sunlight required!

1. Eat half a tomato and leave the other half on a plate.
2. Repeat if necessary.

In other news of Fwig’s anti-establishmentarian sociopathic endeavors:

I registered for employer, Ye Olde Information Company’s two-day overnight (read: drunkfest) Annual Company Meeting. On the registration form I answered the Special diet considerations section like so:

Can only drink Australian or Californian wines.
We’ll see how that goes over.



Anonymous said...

Holy shit.. that is one trippy looking tomato.

Patricia Stoltey said...

I love it! Thanks for dropping by my blog to celebrate the scraggly Christmas tree in the park.