abolish /əˈbäliSH/

He was running for election in the federal riding of Hamilton Mountain in 1993, representing the new Reform party; the brainchild of a couple of jolly old fellows by the name of Preston Manning and Stephen Harper. Standing outside his campaign office on Upper James Street, he told me that as a white male I was currently, in effect, the most persecuted “minority” in the country, but not to worry, for his party was destined to take power, not immediately, but by the following election in 1997, and that gradually, over the course of years, his party would roll back immigration levels until finally the borders would close entirely. I was amused by these multiple layers of deranged idiocy but was careful to exhibit no reaction to his claims, either positive or negative. I wanted to hear his spiel in its most honest form.

Where are these honourable men now, you ask?

Craig B. Chandler

Currently Craig Chandler is a member of the Legislative Assembly of Alberta where he is well known for publicly opposing gay-straight alliances in schools and, not surprisingly, same-sex marriage. Renowned homophobe and all-around brontosaurus Preston Manning officially retired from politics in 2002, while Stephen Harper, if you’re Canadian, is your very own Prime Minister. Sorry about your luck.