Sunday, January 13, 2008

Evil trinity of… malevolent interlopers… of evil… portent… or something…

Day 65

They lurk over there.

There. In the Corner of Doom.

I don’t know how or why they arrived here last autumn. I know not their vile purpose.

I have tried moving them to the rarely-used hallway; that other magnet for evil in the otherwise pleasant Grotto. But soon after they appeared again in the Corner of Doom. I moved them to the kitchen counter. They appeared instead on my nice chair in the dining room – by the back entrance.

There they sat and glared their unholy glare at all who entered the Grotto. I moved them back to the kitchen counter. Again they vanished and appeared instead in the Corner of Doom once again.

They are some unholy trinity. Not the ghosts of Christmas past, present and future. No. Not the evil trio from Krypton who followed Superman to the planet Earth.


They are Orvil Reddenbacher Popcorn, Lipton Powdered Chicken Noodle Soup and Tim Horton’s English Toffee Cappucino in a can.

Every day I glare at them as if to say, “This is my house!”

And every day they glare back at me as if to say, “Come play with us Fwig! Come play with us… Forever!”

I presume they are responsible for Sylvie Ruel’s tragic disappearance.

Whatever they are – beneath their insidious disguises of common household food products – they are evil and powerful. Steve-o is completely under their malevolent spell. He dares not confront them.

I’ve tried to locate that little witch from the Poltergeist movie to see if she can help me but no luck.

I presume it is only a short time before they drive me to utter madness.

God have mercy on my soul.


Babs Gladhand said...

I have evil in my freezer. It comes in the form of Edy's Dibs. Which sounds dirty, but really isn't.

Anonymous said...

gimmee some of that soup.

Uh *looks furtively for mother* Please!

I think my son could use some.

Fantasy Writer Guy said...

I'd love to give it away, Supermom. But it presumably belongs to Steve-o. Why he won't find a decent home for this stuff after two months - I can't imagine.

Kathleen said...

Is he planning on ingesting this stuff? Or just tormenting you? I think after 3 months you have the God given right to put it in the garbage.

Nepharia said...

If you have any Orville Reddenbacker's Extra Butter, I'll take it. You can keep the rest.