Friday, January 04, 2008

World Junior Semi-Finals

Time for another world junior hockey medal-game simulcast! And while I’m at the office of course. Luckily my boss is a sports fan.

It’s the semi finals. U.S. earned a bye to get here. Canada fell to Sweden earlier and defeated Finland in a quarter-final contest to qualify. Today’s winner plays Sweden for gold; the loser for the bronze against Russia. Let’s face it – neither Canada or U.S. are interested in Bronze medals.

First period:

EE-Gads! First shift – all U.S. How didn’t they score? They were all over us. Swarming like bees.

Let me say – I despise tribalism of all kinds. It’s the inevitable preoccupation of humans, granted. I understand that but I wish we’d hurry up and evolve beyond it. But though nations don’t exist in my view of the world I can’t help but get excited and cheer for hockey teams that wear the red maple leaf. It’s a habit formed at an early age. I’m not fully evolved, you see. I’m not a saint just yet.

Canada with some pressure in the second shift. That’s good.

Pierre McGuire’s on board, doing the colour commentary. Thank goodness I skipped lunch. He rattles the digestion process, that bitch.

15:00 to play. U.S. gets the first power-play. They’re dangerous. Possibly the sharpest offense in the tournament. But Canada may have the best defense. And the best goalie.

They kill the penalty.

Canada’s Matthias hits the post!

I wonder if Kats is watching the game?

Oops. Replay from another angle. Hit the side of the net. Not the post. Perspective is everything. That’s why refs are so beat upon. The average sports fan doesn’t grasp the severe variability of perspective. Life is three dimensional yet we see in two dimensions. And every person or camera's view is unique.

Oops. Boss caught me with the game on. He showed me how to enlarge the video image to full-screen! Nice workplace eh?

0:05 to play. Been an exciting period. Fast. Plenty of scoring chances at both ends but no score.

Period Two:

Again, U.S. with the first major opportunity. Mason makes the save.

Ouch! Canada’s Kyle Touris fans on the shot with a wide open net!

What an exciting game. If only the NHL were half this entertaining – like it was in the eighties.

Oh! Scores! Shawn Matthias! His third of the tournament. He worked hard for that one. Good boy, Shawn!

13:00 to play. Another U.S. power play. Can’t allow too many or we’ll get burned for sure.

10:00. Canada’s turn on the power play. Scores! Karl Alzner! Blast from the point! 2-0.

Speaking of 2-0, the score in other affairs is Sidewalk 2, FWG 0. I took another spill yesterday. Slipped on the ice and went down in a bad way. The right knee is particularly sore.

“Oh,” said Pops (the step-dad), “You came down with a case of knee-monia!” He cracks himself up, the lovable little lunatic that he is.

More great chances for the Americans. Mason keeps making saves but we won’t keep them off the scoreboard forever. Don’t get complacent, boys!

Yikes. So much offense in this game at both ends. A two-goal lead isn’t so big in a wide-open game like this.

6:00. Canada on the power play again. Big chances. A three-goal lead would be significant. Oh my. Geoffrion takes another penalty for U.S. Forty-one seconds with a two-man advantage.

Chances galore! U.S. holding on. They kill the first penalty. Still down a man.

If I may return to the unpleasant subject of tribalism once again – There’s a variety store in the retail level below the ‘grotto’. We’ll call it… Luke’s Milk. I don’t shop there because ‘Luke’ is a dickhead and tries to bully people into leaving the parking spot right behind his backdoor open for him at all times. He acts as if he owns the spot which he doesn’t. We all pay for shared parking and when it’s the only spot available I damn well take it. It’s my right. He gets snotty about it.

So I was in the variety store in the complex next door to ours which is run by a very nice lady – who, I must mention, is of Asian descent. Her grasp of the English language is far from complete but certainly eclipses my grasp of Chinese or Korean or whatever is applicable. And English is a bitch to learn so kudos to her.

The other day she moved to bag my coffee cream and cheese slices and I said, “No bag, thanks. I just live next door.”

“Oh. Next door?” she said.

“Yes. Above Luke’s Milk. But I don’t like him so I shop here instead.”

“Ah, yes,” she said, nodding knowingly. “He is Paki.”


I just looked at her for a moment, trying to figure out what the heck she was trying to say. And then I figured she must have said just what she meant to say.

“Okay, well, good-bye then. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” she said.

1:00 to play. Yanks on the power-play again. A late goal would be huge. Canada with a short-handed break. Smith stops it.

Period Three:

16:00 to go. Oh dear. Another too-many-men penalty for the U.S. You can’t be doing that, fellas. Great passing on the power-play. Smith is keeping his team in the game. They survive the penalty.

13:00. Let’s not forget. U.S. has come from behind to close a two–goal third-period deficit before in World Junior play against Canada. And they went on to win. Oh! Scores! Gillies on the rush. His first goal of the tournament. 3-0. Huge lead.

Scores! Brad Marchand! Two goals only 30 seconds or so apart. 4-0. Wow. That should pretty much do it.

Also in the Cute-things-that-store-cashiers-say department: I was in the 24-hour Dominion grocery store the other night just after midnight. It’s always the same cashier at the single open till every time I’m there at night. She always has eye-opening things to say. I really should ask her to do a regular piece on this blog. It would be interesting. She was in her usual form the other night. A fellow in front of me asked if they carried hair colour for men.

“How would I know!” she barked. “That’s not my department!” She looks about sixty and has a very deep 90-cigarette-per-day-habit type voice. Very Gravelly. “There’s no one here in that department at this time of night!” She really snapped at him. No kidding.

7:00. Give the U.S. credit. They’re not giving up. They’re playing strong.

Oh dear. Replay shows that the Gillies rush was very slightly off-side. The third Canada goal should have been disallowed. We’ll see if it matters.

Oh god, McGuire, please shut up and go away.

Americans crashing the net. Where’s the puck? In the net! They score. 4-1.

5:00. Americans desperate for another goal. They’re pressing. Taking risks.

Breakaway Canada! That’s what happens. Smith stops him.

So anyway, it’s my turn before the Dominion cashier and I ask, because I’m in the mood for a movie, if she knows of any 24-hour video store around. I pretty much know I’m asking for trouble but what the heck.

“No!” she says, pausing to glare at me. “You people need to learn to do your business during the day!”

I smiled and nodded. I’m always appreciative when good Samaritans try to help out us people with their friendly advice. But I decide to be a tad cheeky. “I guess you’d like to get off the night shift, eh?”

“Hey, I have seniority here! I can work whatever shift I choose! I like the night shift!”

So if I understand her position correctly, she prefers to work the night shift but would prefer that no customers come… and that Dominion continue to stay open 24-hours and employ her anyway… to come to work… and not do anything. I guess that’s not too much to ask.

I’ll have to continue to visit Dominion Lady on the night shift and maybe bait her a little. She’s always got something fun to say. I should have been writing stuff down all along.

2:00. U.S. on the power play. They’re the only undefeated team in the tournament but they’ll need a miracle now.

I wonder if Claudia Supermom has some perspective on the Dominion Lady situation. She’s in the grocery industry. But she has far more useful things to say than Dominion Lady.

40 seconds to go. Another Canada penalty. Two-man advantage. Yanks need two lightening-fast goals. Won’t get them. Canada icing the puck. They win. Off to the gold-medal game! Hurrah!


Anonymous said...

rotflmao! “You people need to learn to do your business during the day!"

What a diehard cashier! Continuing to hang with her is a great idea, I can't wait to read her input~!(snicker)Oh the senority! Pussbag.

I'd keep going just to bug her too, lol.

YAY for the boys! I didn't watch the final(of course not!) but still am pretty happy for them. And esp. the BC boys! Good on you fella's!

Kathleen said...

Dammit! Nothing I like better than Canada losing some world hockey tournament. It's too bad Whine Gretzky wasn't there to bitch about nobody wanting his team to win. Jackass.

Fantasy Writer Guy said...

Face it Kats, You LOVE Gretzky! You want to have his babies!