Saturday, January 19, 2008

Meet the Steve-o

Random quotes from the roommate. Songs in italics:


Nobody likes you, Winter.
Except for penguins and polar bears. And things that flourish in the cold.

Midgets! The world is being taken over by crazy midgets, biting the heads off chickens.

Who’s got the funk?
Steve’s got the funk!
Who’s got the funk?
Radulov’s got the funk!
The Mexicans…
The Mexicans are coming…


That doucher. I should have dropped a biscuit in his purse.

I like this parking lot. It’s not like our parking lot. DUM DUM DUMMMM! The parking lot of doom!

No. Don’t worry. I won’t drop you any purse biscuits.

Scotch scotch scotch
I love scotch
Scotch scotch scotch
I love scotch…


What’s with that cashier? Did you hear her freak out on that guy? “SIR! SIR! You don’t have to put both cases on the belt! Just one, please! My arms are getting bigger than my husband’s! I squeezed his dick right off! Popped it open like a Pez dispenser!”

GRUYERE! AND CRACKERS!
GRUYERE! AND CRACKERS!
THEY’RE ONLY A DAY AWAY!


Welcome to Doctor Youseff’s Biopsy Buffet. Get two meals for the price of one.

What do you mean, ‘Could I please be marginally less disgusting during the dinner hour’? You ask too much of me.







The preceding sentiments are not endorsed by FWG or anyone with taste. No artificial cadavers were harmed in the making of this article.







4 comments:

Claudia said...

“SIR! SIR! You don’t have to put both cases on the belt! Just one, please! My arms are getting bigger than my husband’s! I squeezed his dick right off! Popped it open like a Pez dispenser!”

ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!

Babs said...

I thought MY parking lot was the parking lot of doom. Is it possible that there are TWO in this evil, evil world?

Kathleen said...

Dear heavens, what are those Asians up to now??? As if eating off toilets wasn't weird enough...

I don't have a parking lot. I have to fight for a parking spot every day that I drive my car - which keeps me from driving a lot!

Fantasy Writer Guy said...

These Asians are not representative of the entire Asian persuasion. These are just the crazy Asians - also known as 'Crasians' and not to be confused with 'Craisins' which are really delicious in a salad with pears, walnuts, goat cheese and raspberry vinegriette.