Life’s purpose

Well, here we go… falling behind again! It’s past midnight. In my defense I am a night-shifter who has not reigned in a proper sleep schedule of late. Every day is a new scheduling dilemma.

Our "L" Business is lent from the lovely, lippy, lyrical, literate and ever-so-lightly-lunistic… Doctor Lock! And he has provided the word along with some direction as to how I should feel about it. Let’s see what we can do:

Love (is inconvenient)

Having lost all interest in our typical societal model all-encompassing relationships (quite a while ago actually) and as well, due to age and/or poor health, pretty much lost my libido, leaves me in a pretty convenient state!

I waste no time or energy tinkering with dating web sites, chatting up someone I would otherwise have little interest in, fussing over my appearance, or standing around in dull, loud clubs looking for someone to engagingly scream at.

I waste no time or energy arguing with a life partner, negotiating household decisions, explaining my actions, or briefly considering murder strategies.

And I waste no time or energy surfing for porn.

This is a pretty good deal. With all the added spare time you’d think I’d be more productive.

For those who are still in the game - of directional love and/or of lust, love can certainly be inconvenient. Our attachments pop up where they will; not where we want them to, and in a society utterly entangled in superstitious rules and expectations, where the very same loving intentions can be seen as either exaltingly beautiful or abhorrently creepy depending on arbitrary bureaucracies of society and mind, such urges can be a terribly maddening distraction.

The classic broken heart for instance.

There is though, a very convenient form of non-directional love, which satisfies a deeply resonant core purpose of living, and avails the recognition of one’s own qualifications to design one’s own outer purpose, and the clarity which which to do it.

I once seemed to be in that very position, but I have no choice but to question that now, because though it has seemed for years now just an arm’s length away, it did not last.