Wednesday, April 15, 2020

Mystery Guest!

Hey kids! It's Game Day here at the A-to-Z and today's game is called Mystery Guest! The mystery guest rolls into your own home town. I'm going to describe the scene and you guess who it is, okay?

So the street is blocked off as if for a parade. Plenty of law enforcement managing things. And now the arrival: two cars resembling unmarked police cars with some colorful flashy lights happening. They are the:

Route Car and Pilot car

They are checking and analyzing the route and considering options if necessary. They are in radio contact with their followers who are about a minute behind them and they are:

The Sweepers

These appear to be motorcycle police; a half dozen or so, and they are another layer of intel and communication. They are also regulating the speed of this whole affair. Behind them by another minute:

The Lead Car

I know. They don't seem to be in the actual lead, do they? But they will take over if certain kinds of shit were to hit the fan. This, and most vehicles which follow, will be of the black, tinted windowed, extra large sport utility type deal. Right on their asses:

The Limousines.

While the limos will carry significant persons, most are playing decoy roles. One anonymous version will be called:

The Stagecoach (or the Spare)

And herein rests the Mystery Guest! Have you guessed who yet? The Stagecoach limo is prepared for every contingency imaginable, including breaking free and going it alone if certain particular brands of extra-shitty shit hit the fan. One of the contingencies on board is a supply of the mystery guest's blood type.

This vehicle is fully armored, with bullet-proof glass. They call such vehicles Beasts. And if you live in a particularly bad neighborhood, many, or even all of the vehicles in the caravan will be Beasts. Next in line:

The Halfback

This one is definitely a Beast and contains some of the most elite security specialists anywhere. They are armed to the teeth and a third row seat will be facing the rear with hatchback wide open and guns undisguised. Next:

The Watchtower

This is a van and you never saw so many bleedin' aerials. This is the radar-equipped, laser-equipped communications hub.

Control and Support vehicles

These are high-ranking VIP's and their own security details. The Mystery Guest's doctor will be among them. Okay we must be done now, right? Not even close.

The Hawkeye Renegade

This is the counter-assault fleet; basically a team full of action heroes trained in every conceivable tableau who are prepared to jump into action and go to war at the drop of a dime.

ID Car

Intelligence Division vehicle. Another communications hub. Also known as the Department of Redundancy Department.

Hazard Material Mitigation Unit

This is a truck equipped for nuclear, chemical or biological attacks. In such an event it will presumably burst like a pinata full of thousands of band aids.

Press Vans

Communications Agency Vehicle (you can never have too much communication)


Rear Guards (generally local police)

So there you have it. Did you guess M.C. Hammer? Jesus? Both good tries. No, it's actually the president of the United States. What can I say, it's an important position. The only person in the world definitely more important than that...

is my mom.

And she gave us today's topic:


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