What can I say? He's just an endless supply of freakish entertainment.
Again - words in italics were sang, not spoken.
1.
I am Olash. I eat Taco Bell.
2.
You know you look like hell when homeless people start throwing you change.
3.
Gonna pick up a keg of Steam Whistle beer. Don't know what'll happen. Maybe it'll be queer...
4.
I told her, 'Look- it's either upstairs or outta here, lady. Those are the options.'
5.
Cheddar, I had you but you didn't have me...
6.
Raindrops and roses and something and cheddar,
Something and something, the Dutch are much better...
Something and something and something, da dee,
These are a few of my favorite cheese.
7.
They hit you with a blast of hot air just before you step out into the cold air 'cause it makes you have to pee.
8.
Dried nuts! Get your dried nu-uuuts!
9.
Two-twenty for Raisin Bran? You can't beat that. Just ask sturdy Dan Magee.
10.
This is my country,
This is my dog,
This is my wang juice,
This is my truck,
This is my - people putting buggies in the middle of everything
'Cause they suck...
I don't make this shit up, people. I swear.
Uh-oh...
First detubberization update
Oh dear. This will be humiliating.
My progress re the 2007 make-it-or-give-up-on-life project:
Days: 23
Pounds lost: -1 (Yes. Negative one. Went from 317 down to 313 - back up to 318)
Light exercise: 30 minutes walking (Average 1.3 minutes per day)
Proper cardio: 0 (That's 0.0 minutes per day)
Other exercise: Helped a friend move a few possessions. That doesn't really count.
Cheating:
Questionable foods eaten: 5 cinnamon buns, 13 hot dogs, Chinese noodles, pizza (4 times), fish & chips (3 times), 1 giant burrito, 10 Red Bulls, 6 beers, 8 pieces fried chicken, rice (twice), 2 biscuits, 2 boxes crackers, potatoes (3 times), 2 bottles wine, birthday cake, 6 large subs, 2 Coke Blaks, 4 grilled cheese sandwiches, ice cream, pancakes, 3 dinner rolls, 4 chocolate bars, 2 peanut butter and syrup sandwiches (how I wish I were kidding about that), medium popcorn, 2 tomato sandwiches
Verdict: I'm an absolute loser - obviously.
Words written: approx. 16,000 (absolutely pathetic. No less than 1000 per day is excusable)
What can I say? Now that I've spent three weeks learning to track my progress I guess the next step is to actually make some progress and not be quite so much a sloth.
FWG
41 minutes ago
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3 comments:
Aw, buddy. You'll get there. I have faith in you. And don't be humiliated at all. It takes a very brave person to post their progress in anything.
You just went way up on my respect scale for posting this.
The idea is that fear of ridicule might motivate me. This isn't ridicule. You're killing me with kindness!!
I don't know if this will make you feel better but I spent 2002 (that is when the Wings last won the Stanley Cup, right?) riding my stationary bike two hours (40 miles) every day and occasionally every other day. I lost ZERO pounds.
2005 I went to the gym 3-5 days a week - 1 hr on the elliptical, 1 hr on the treadmill. I lost ZERO pounds (and don't give me that "But didn't you lose inches, because you know muscle weighs more than fat" crap). No, my clothes didn't fit any differently.
2006 I didn't go to the gym as often as I thought I did, but still did an hour on the elliptical when I did go, ate breakfast every day as advised and guess what? Yup, I lost ZERO pounds.
Did that help?
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