Monday, January 01, 2007

Same shit, different year?

I don't put much stock in New Year's Resolutions as a concept. I don't recall ever making one. But right now I certainly have things to resolve and it happens to be a new year so...

It's time to take the test I think. Time to break out of the slump. Time to put up or shut up. For about six years now I've been diddling around with half-ass weight loss attempts and writing endeavors that are concentrated at times and marked by significant progress but only intermittently. I've taken too many holidays.

My goals are pretty simple I think. To achieve spiritual enlightenment; To come to some sort of peace with this society of ours that currently seems more and more foreign to me all the time; To capture this learning in literature and to get that literature out there - accessible to others who might be on the same kind of journey - who might find it relevant; To make some money at that of course - nothing sinful about making money in responsible quantity; And to put myself in a healthy body so that I might live long enough to achieve all this.

Does that sound reasonable?

I'm finally at a point in life where these goals all seem perfectly accessible to me. But inherently I'm massively lazy. Massively. You have no idea. I'm the absolute All-High Emperor of Procrastination.

Health, Enlightenment, Success. I feel like the pathways are clear before me. Like I can see the pinnacles in the distance. Like I need only put one foot in front of the other (while blissfully ignorant of awaiting pitfalls, granted). But at the pace I'm on - in the state of health that I am - I will surely die before reaching these goals. I will die. And yet I toddle in low gear as if with no motivation. Isn't that ridiculous? Why am I such a pathetic sloth?


This is the question for 2007. Here's the resolution: Either find the answer this year - or give up.

I will begin to steadily and permanently repair my health and I will start treating writing as the job that it is (albeit a labor of love, certainly) and reap the spiritual rewards that such discipline opens the doors to.


I will resign myself to a post-300lb shortened existence in which I'll put up with this society and feed it whatever kind of literature I happen to muster as the mood strikes me and hope it gets commercially published and try to forget about the idea of enlightenment.

So there.

As for this blog: Sorry for this unentertaining piece but this is my diary after all. My journal. And I need it to fulfill a role for me. I need to make it a place for occasional confession. My assumption is that I possess a strong enough ego that public embarrassment will help to serve as motivation toward my goals. I certainly have other motivations but apparently I need as many as I can get! So I will occasionally publish my progress or lack-thereof in the form of brief statistics (minutes of exercise, pounds lost/gained, words written - that sort of thing). If you see me failing please feel free to mock me and viciously so! Heck - use the Comments section to post your own progress toward your own goals if you want! We'll make it a support group!

The (hopefully) humorous dissertations will continue here. I have little inclination to attempt humorous writing in any formal sense so this blog provides the perfect (and necessary) outlet.

That's all. Let the test begin.


Anonymous said...

Okay, I am committed to being your personal cheerleader in reaching your goals. It can be tough, I know, but I'll be here cheering you on in whatever you decide is best for you.

Fantasy Writer Guy said...

Wow. You are quite the find. What luck that I was on the dashboard page when 'Flumadiddle' scrolled by on the 'Updated at X:XX PM' marquee and I just happened to notice and say to myself "What in all the hells is a flumadiddle? Hm. Only one way to find out..."

And now, just when I'm feeling like I don't deserve the title Fantasy Writer Guy, like I'm more of a Fantasy Writer-Ish Guy - you come along and start calling me FWIG. How prophetic. Maybe you're like - one of the 5 people I'll meet in Heaven.

Hah! Imagine! You and me in heaven?? Gawd, I'm so funny sometimes I could just crap my pants. Okay, back to work...

Anonymous said...

Hey! We could take over heaven. We could make everyone else our minions. I've wanted minions my whole life.

And FWIG stands for Fantasy Writer Incredibly Funny Guy. I know it looks like it should be FWIFG, but the second F is silent and invisible.

Dave said...

So...are we still on for Saturday Night's drunken feast?
WooHoo! I can't wait.

Kathleen said...

Be thankful you're not a woman because losing weight after 40 is FREAKING IMPOSSIBLE!!! Good luck with your resolutions.