Sunday, June 24, 2007

The Amazing Technocolor Steve-o

More of the roommate's random mutterings. His singing, as always, is printed in italics.

Stephen's a tool... Stephen's a tool...

We three kings of orient are
Trying to smoke a rubber cigar.
It was loaded. It exploded.
Now we're among the stars.

Peameal and bacon
And boys like Troy Aikman.
The fuhrer's in Kleinburg planning extradition
He's gonna kill Tom Hanks 'cause he didn't like Road to Perdition.

Man, I can't even cut this. It's like trying to part the rivers of Mosesland!

Itsy bitsy spider ran up the water spout.
Out came the eggs and the spiders crawled out.
They went into my kitchen and into the hutch.
I don't like itsy bitsy spiders so much.

Hello. You've reached Stephen's House of Aesthetics and Hand Jobs. Please leave a message...

Love lists us up where we belong,
Where the eagles fly,
On my counter top...

It's like that bathroom candle. That thing was powerful. It could cover up anything. We could have murdered someone in the that bathroom and it would have covered it up. The CSI guys wouldn't even have figured it out - except they'd probably find some kind of insects. Ah, yes, the coabular dissenteria bugs. Those coabular dissenteriasts only infest bathrooms where someone has been killed by a knife and sodomized. Okay, now bring out the light gun. The light gun that can see through time...

Like a good neighbor...
My balls are there...

Why do people watch ultimate fighting? I'd rather watch ultimate knitting. At least they'd have weapons.

The above opinions are not endorsed by FWG, Troy Aikman, Tom Hanks, The Nazi Party, CBS Broadcasting Inc. or, presumably, Moses.

1 comment:

Kathleen said...

Steve-O is duly invited to Knitting Club on Saturday night.