Sunday, July 15, 2007

Reason # 35,743,653 why technology sucks

Apparently I've grown so prematurely old and wise that I've lost the ability to work my VCR. Wait. DVD player, I mean. I've been watching movies with the close-captioning running because I didn't know how to turn it off.

The problem with listening to English dialogue while English text is displayed is that you know what the actors will say before they say it and somehow this creates the impression that the acting is really really bad.

Either that or the acting has just been really really bad.

The movies I've survived in this manner: The Big Lebowski, Army of Darkness, Ghostbusters 2, Resevoir Dogs, The Number 23, Blood Diamond and The Big Empty. I quite enjoyed both The Big Lebowski and The Big Empty. Thought they were creative, clever and downright funny. Blood Diamond I shall not comment on at this time. And the rest sucked entirely. Apparently any film with the word Big in it has got to be good. I'd go so far as putting Lebowski just into my top ten favorite comedies. Be warned you must be prepared to tolerate wildly excessive usage of the words man and dude though.

Finally, today, determined to put an end to this nonsense I attacked the remote control, determined to shut those damn subtitles off.

The result: Two sets of subtitles. I somehow turned another set on. One is white text on a black field, the other is boldface yellow with just the video in the background - which works fine except for the scene where the school bus drives through the field of sunflowers. Both subtitles are in English and not quite in sync and they overlap each other much of the time.


Before I just give up on movies altogether I think I'll try getting drunk, putting on Scarface and try speaking along with every character. Anyone want to join me?



Claudia said...


way to go Poindexter!

Claudia said...

OK How did that happen? sigh.. It's me from momsmyname... I didnt realize that I was signed in to the google thingamajig and it would transfer here...

Fantasy Writer Guy said...

Too funny. The aliens say: idunoh. True, I swear. Not sure if they're speaking to me or you.

We don't know either, aliens. We don't know either.

Anonymous said...

I gave up and changed my thing from Ithinkyourecrazy to my REAL name, cause I am though being crazy kwim? As for the aliens speaking, definately to you!

Babs Gladhand said...

The Big Lewbowski is one of my very favorite movies.

Claudia: But you are crazy, and it's why we love you so.

Kathleen said...

LOL! One is the closed captioning that comes when you use that button on your TV remote (that's the white text in black box). The other is the subtitling available on the DVD itself. How do I know this? I voluntarily turn it on. I can't watch anything w/o the subtitling anymore because I hate not understanding what somebody says and then I have to rewind and listen again and again. This way I just read it. Yes, I'm weird.

Now, to turn it off, there should be a Subtitle button on your DVD remote. Push it. The closed captioning, you're on your own because TV remotes are so different. Good luck!

I'll have to watch The Big Lebowski at some point. My brother highly recommends it, but I have Coen Brother issues - I hate every single one of their movies I've watched.