Home-cooked fal-awfuls

The experiment with non-meat meal alternatives is yielding mixed results. Things were going along swimmingly until I was gently informed that ice cream and popcorn do not comprise a ‘healthy vegetarian diet’. Who knew? Since then I’ve added plastics and metal alloy to the menu.

While the cook-from-frozen boxed falafels failed to cook to perfection, the pair of plastic lids that I forgot to remove from the top of the mini convection oven - most certainly did. Check out their gooey remains:

I now owe Steve-o a new liquid-tight casserole dish along with a new set of stovetop element covers. That's right. Element covers. Another recent kitchen conquest had me wondering why my pot of water was still not boiling while the white element cover next to it was turning a rich shade of brown. Could it be… I turned on the wrong element? Could be, rabbit. Could be.

Here are the falafels. The pic doesn’t quite reveal the reality: That the resulting falafelesque goop patty precisely resembled a German Sheppard sized mass of dog puke. The voluminous foamy kind, that is. Not the stringy kind from eating grass. The kind they hurl upon eating way too much of something they shouldn’t have. All the garlic hummus in the world couldn’t save these bad boys:

Tip: Topside lid residue peels easily away if you leave it alone until the oven cools.

Who wouldn’t be proud to serve this at their next dinner party?