I find this proliferation of ribbons a little odd. One - because it seems incongruent to at once celebrate anonymity by brazenly cutting off the motorist beside you while simultaneously assuming he could give a flying care what your particular 'causes' are.
Two - because you can't get close enough to read the text esplaining what the 'cause' is without a little rear-end action (of the motor-vehicular type).
Also - why on earth is it always a ribbon? What's wrong with bowes? Or other shapes? A peanut-shape perhaps? Or - um - I don't know. I'm fresh out of shape ideas.
I've become curious what all these causes are so I did a little research. Are you curious also? Well let me save you the trouble. Here are the results of my study - Oh - by the way. I realize I spelled 'explaining' wrong but I decided to leave it. It sounds like a homage to Desi Arnez and lets face it. Desi doesn't receive homages very often. It would be a shame to take this one away, accidental or not, so I left it.
Oh Lucy... you got some 'splaining to do...
Black ribbon
Melanoma Awareness
Blue ribbon
Support Christian Rock
Baby blue ribbon
End School Violence
Florescent blue ribbon
Stop Hating Leonardo DiCaprio
Light blue ribbon
Support Microsoft/Free Market Technology
Light blue ribbon (upside down)
Save Software Market from Microsoft Monopoly
Blue and orange ribbon
Child Abuse Prevention
Blue and white ribbon
Remember Columbine High School
Blue ribbon with grey sphere
Save Pluto. From what, I've no idea.
Blue and yellow ribbon
Remember TWA flight 800 July '96
Metallic gold ribbon
Childhood Cancer Awareness
Green ribbon
Leukemia Awareness
Avocado ribbon
Ban Stupid Avocado Ribbons Campaign
Forest green ribbon
Fight Ovarian Cancer
Mint green ribbon
"Triumph over Tragedy" Awareness of abuse.
Dark grey ribbon
Be nice to newbies campaign
Silver grey ribbon
Fight Diabetes
Orange ribbon
Families with Imprisoned Loved Ones
Ecru ribbon
Free Speech
Lavender ribbon
Celebrate Ecru Ribbons. Naturally they wanted to use ecru ribbons but those goddam free-speechers got to it first.
Pink ribbon
Fibromyalgia awareness - also known as Fibro-my-ass by intolerant husbands who think their 'suffering' wives are just being lazy.
Purple ribbon
Pancreatic Cancer Research
Florescent purple ribbon
Support anti-gravity/flying pigs
Violet ribbon
Artists Against Racism
Purple and yellow ribbon
Chemical Injury Awareness
Red ribbon
M.A.D.D. (Mothers Against Drunk Driving) - displayed mostly on the vehicles of drunk drivers who are hoping to avoid suspicion
Blood red ribbon
Multiple Myeloma Awareness
Red-orange ribbon
Aids Awareness
Red, green and gold ribbon
FWG's Support the Phrase 'Ta-da!' Campaign
Red, white and blue ribbon (stars and stripes)
Memorial to American victims of terrorism/Never forget 9-11
White ribbon
Pro-life campaign
White ribbon with black spots
Cow Appreciation
Yellow ribbon
Banana Eagle Awareness. I confess. I wasn't aware.
Florescent yellow ribbon
Free Terri Martin. I hate to be crass but who the hell is Terri Martin?
Yellow ribbon with red maple leaf
Support Canada's Troops in Afghanistan. That's right, my Southern friends! Canada actually has an army! And the next time one of those pea-brained Bush-brainwashees is tempted to ask me why Canada is "not against the terrorists" they'd damn well better think twice because my patience for that kind of braindead crap ran dry when Canadian boys started getting killed over there. 'Nuff said about that.
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6 comments:
I can't figure out if you made those up or not.
So, you had patience for the war as long as it was only Americans getting killed? Just asking.
Kats, I only made up two. The rest exist (on the internet anyways)though some of them are cleary a joke more or less.
Hey - I'm never comfortable with war or with Americans dying. That's not what I said. Canadians were killed in the World Trade Centre and Canadians rushed people, money and supplies into NY immediately, and our troops went to Afghanistan to fight on the same side as American troops. And yet some of my business contacts from the States had the nerve to ask me why Canada was siding with the terrorists. That's brutal and it's those comments that I maintained patience for. The patience for certain people's ignorance. But when we're giving up people's lives for the cause - just as America is - just stop asking who's side we're on. That's all I ask.
Is that fair?
How about a spleen shape? Spleens are always fun.
I think Pluto needs saving from Mickey Mouse. That Mickey's a randy little cuss.
So, where do we buy the Ta Da! ribbons? And are you going to screw us on the price? 'Cause if so, I'm going to have to come up with a pink and purple polka-dotted "Getting screwed on ribbon prices awareness" ribbon.
Sorry, that came out wrong. I knew what you meant and I haven't had any patience for the wars since day one. Our president is an idiot and I'm just sorry to the world that he's caused such a huge mess and loss of so many lives, not just Americans and Canadians, but Iraqis and Afghanis and everybody else. But what does he care? He does have the sense God gave a tree.
Tree. Bush. Same thing.
This is a subject I should never have brought up. There's so much guilt and irresponsible news coverage and delusional nationalistic pride... Misinformation, spin, hidden agendas, purple coolade, people running with scissors, dogs running with cats...
Here's what I know (without going into long dissertations of why):
The difference between Canadians and Americans is precisely nil.
Nations don't even exist accept as the monetary playthings of the rich and powerful (sounds bizarre but I know its true).
Canada (if you believe that nations exist) bears all the guilt that America does for it's bullying. We reap all the economic reward while usually keeping the blood off our hands and our reputation intact - which is just plain dirty.
A demonic dimwit by the name of Harper stole power here just as Bush stole it there.
And that's all I can say for now. Got places to run too...
Okay. I'm back from places ran too. Only I didn't run. I sauntered more or less.
Ah, Babs, the voice of reason. Come to save this gaff of a posting from spiralling further downward.
But first off -- I think we're confusing two different plutos.
The Ta-do campaign - is only just getting started. And ribbons are out. They shall be red, green and gold spleens because of course you're correct. Spleens are the bomb. The quintessential barrel of frivolity and hilarity. It's true.
But how you divide a spleen into red gold and green remains to be seen. Oh crap. I'm turning into Dr Seuss ageen. Either way they'll be freen. I mean - free. Yeesh.
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