Friday, April 06, 2007

Steve-o's Greatest Hits

1. Oops. There goes one stupid idiot that wouldn’t let me in. Oh – and there goes the other stupid idiot that wouldn’t let me in. I guess they’re racing home to have sex together.

2. Some people are like, ‘I wuvs you, pookie pookie pookie pookie stink-stinks.’ I’m not like that.

3. Hands on my sprocket, hands on my sprocket, hands on my sprocket.

4. Look at me! I make spicy salad dressing! I was in Bullet! I’m Paul Newman! I’m old!

5. There’s nothing like a good meal topped off with some nuts.

Peanut butter and jelly time. Peanut butter and jelly time. Peanut butter jelly with a baseball bat.

7. Oh boy oh boy oh boy! We got mail from the cable people! Oh boy oh boy it says ‘Attention resident!’ It must be awful important! Oh boy oh boy, I better open it right away! Oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy! It’s a file! It’s a confidential file from the president of TV, Ron Purdy! Well gawwwwwwlleeeeeeeeeee! Thanks Mister Purdy!

8. This bread is harder than my vagina.

That sweet salty goodness goes right through you… when you chew it… so say goodbye a little longer…

10. The jig juice is coming out all over the place! Hold on to your jig juice, chicken!
The sentiments expressed in the preceding article are in no way sharable.


Babs Gladhand said...

Why is Paul Newman dressed like Queen Elizabeth?

I'm hoping that #8 was said at a restaurant. Very loudly.

Kathleen said...

Um, just for the record, it was Steve McQueen in Bullitt, not Paul Newman. I have Paul's Balsamic Vinaigrette and have to say it's quite lovely.

Fantasy Writer Guy said...

I don't think Steve-o will grasp the McQueen/Newman differential. He drives just like Steve McQueen and when I tell him so, he doesn't understand. He just thinks I'm calling him a queen and he misses the point - and other cars, but narrowly.

I loves the Newman Tai dressing and the Raspberry Wal-nut. Both awesome and I know he doesn't harm any talking wal-nuts in their making. He's very careful about that.

Fantasy Writer Guy said...

Babs - sorry! I don't know what the hell's up with the collar. Clearly he dresses salads better than he does himself.