Thursday, October 14, 2021

My sh*t has eyes!

The Smosh folks are a full time comedy operation who pump out heaps of videos across three YouTube channels; my fave being Smosh Pit. There's also a smosh.com which I have never visited. Their humour is pretty juvenile most of the time but I have room for it.

They don't copyright anything. They like fan fiction and fan compilations which they often interact with for more video material. So I gathered my fave smosh segments and it looked to be about 2 hours of material so I divided into six episodes, loosely theme-related, and polished and published Part One a week ago. It sat dead for five days and then quickly jumped over 400 views in a couple days. I'm not surprised.

It drew fifteen likes and one dislike. Ninety per cent of the traffic is through browsing, which bodes well for the future episodes as that's how they would be most likely discovered.

This first episode is super high on the potty humour so... be warned.


Sunday, September 26, 2021

Baby, you're the best!

Here's a video I put together which was removed by YouTube and actually earned  a strike against my channel because it violates child safety policy. Any video showing young people (not even children, necessarily, but young adults) engaged in dangerous behavior is considered a violation under the theory that it entices children to emulate the behavior.

What is interesting is that FailArmy and other big-money sites seem to get away with this all the time but I guess they are profitable to YouTube so.... too bad, kids. I guess you'll have to rely on your parents being remotely competent human beings in order to keep you safe. But someone like me who gets almost no views for the most part, does not target a child audience, actually includes warnings to kids not to engage in this behavior and actually SHOWS clips of some subjects being clearly injured, is somehow the bad guy. Welcome to the ass-backwards world of corporate-owned North America. Enjoy the fucking Kool Ade y'all.

The joke is that all of my clips which they deem unsuitable for YouTube, were downloaded from YouTube to begin with. And when I cast an appeal, stating this fact, I just get the canned response stating that my material was verified to be in violation and I am banned from activity for 30 days or whatever. Further more, three strikes and my channel gets shut down - or something like that.

Oh well. Whatever! 

Let's see if it gets by the Blogger firewall. I suspect it will not and not because of child safety hoopla but because there is probably no license agreement which will allow me to use popular music, which YouTube does thankfully feature. I'm fine with using popular songs and letting the rights-holders monetise my vid for their profit. I would never try to profit from a vid which borrows other peoples' work.

Here goes:

Nope. Maximum file size exceeded. It's a five minute vid and not even HD. Oh well. I already know it won't get by the DailyMotion copyright blocker. I'll give Vimeo a shot.

HA!! Thanks Vimeo:

Baby, You're the Best!


Tuesday, September 21, 2021

My friend, the Ponderer

 Just a shout-out today, to one of my fave pals, The Ponderer, and her favourite band:




Monday, September 20, 2021

Guaranteed smile!

I've been putting a lot of videos together; carefully edited compilations for the most part. The goal here was to be as cute as possible!


Sunday, September 19, 2021

Onward and upward?

I got some good chunks of sleep last night and in positive spirits today have been energized. I hauled three bags of chillable groceries upstairs to the fridge, planted some laundry in the washer, boxed a load of booze bottles (mostly the housemate's actually) which have lingered in the kitchen for months, and swapped a full blue bin out for an empty one with two days until collection.

I also had a productive chat with the housemate and surrendered to a couple swarmings by the doggo.

By noon this was already rendered the most productive day in memory.

I've paced myself very well with frequent short breaks and suffered no physical breakdowns, panics or hyperventilation.

At the genesis of this is a discovery by a bariatric clinic dietitian who I conferred with for the first time on Thursday.

There are three great hurdles on this journey of which I have often said, "I still don't see the complete path to recovery, but I see the landscape, and I trust in the many professionals who are guiding me; doctors, nurses, dietitians and counsellor." The discipline to stick to the intricate diet structure, the physical stamina to stick to the very demanding logistics of the diet structure, and the challenge of somehow needing to improve health prior to surgery (which was supposed to be the initiating event)

With all this in mind the new dietitian suggested I could come off of the surgical route and go on to the non-surgical route for one full year, and then... have the surgery. In other words, all the best of both worlds. This is amazing to me. It never occurred to me such a full service was even available.

As long as the doctors approve this change, I will go on a much stricter diet which given my particular issues will actually be easier to adhere to, logistically simple and almost guaranteed to promote significant weight loss prior to surgery which should help me gain mobility and help me convince the surgeons I am an acceptable risk. Currently they judge I am not.

I am now, finally, seeing the path.



Friday, September 17, 2021

BIG mind, little mind

Something got me thinking about that old conundrum again; the annoying observation that the one thing the human mind can't bear to contemplate is the human mind.

But I recall trying to explain to Aqualad why it sparks small terrors when I catch glimpses of my inner mind; how it feels like a crack in sanity when in a fugue, for instance, I catch little dreams which one should not see when awake but only in sleep when dreams come conveniently packaged with eraser pills so that you forget.. Little waking dreams which reveal that my brain is still busy trying to solve yesterday's dilemmas but sampling the wrong realms. Like trying to find my lost bottle of pills but searching my minecraft world for them. Mixing real life with a video game. That "error" should not scare me. That should not smack of mental deficit or craziness. I understand why these things seem to happen; how a mind can work through metaphor, or how my interpretations are lost in translation.

But it does torment a little. Not playing too much Minecraft might have dismissed that particular issue and so might getting enough sleep but that doesn't answer the question. Why does it push my buttons?

Today I'm inclined to think that it's not the subject matter of inner mind that spooks but simply proximity. I spent earlier years swiftly collecting revelations and small enlightenments and assuming there might be much to come in that journey; that a unity of mind was possible. And that set me exploring many things, like poets who seemed to speak of such oneness; such evolution.

But now I feel that unity of mind is the very thing we fear most of all. It is clear the instinctive mind is vastly more powerful than consciousness. Today I surmise that that imbalance is so tremendous that our real mind must protect consciousness from itself. Because there is some independence of course. The inner mind cannot control this new thing called consciousness; only influence it by playing tricks on it. But wait. Haven't I come to these conclusions before? And to imagine that consciousness might control inner mind is even more far-fetched.  

Oh well. The point is: I don't feel today that it is evidence of an inner mind's flaws that is so scary but merely the presence of the inner mind itself; even just a glimpse of it. It is like coming face to face with God.

And suddenly seeming... utterly... powerless.


Today is quite possibly a landmark day in the final accounting of my life, for reasons having nothing to do with the above thoughts so far as I know. I hope to return tomorrow and tell you about it.


Saturday, June 05, 2021

A Habs fan defends the Leafs

mean to assume that anyone has been missing me in the lost land of Blog World. Ithat  I'm sorry to myself for not having my shit together. Not blogging is the most obvious indication that I am not functioning properly. Oh, by the way, my space key, backspace,I have determined that my keyboard is physically broken. It's definitely nt a driver or software issue.n external keyboard for the time being id I can find one. I'm sure there are a couple around somewhere... Oh for fuck sakes. I'll have to switch to a andcursorionkeys are all misfiring. My directinmeanthSorry I haven't posted in a while. And by that donn't 

Thursday, May 20, 2021

Rooing and Roaching

Hey hey. Remember me? It's April 50th and I'm right on track with regards to April A to Z!

Rooing: Not sure if this precisely qualifies as onomatope but a roo is when a dog makes a "roo" noise. It's more than a wimper and less than a howl. It's common in greyhounds and so, by the way, is:

Roaching: the manner in which a dog, a greyhound especially, lies on its back, usually sleeping, with its legs in the air, kind of like a prone cockroach, though I prefer to think this is not the source of the term, because greyhounds are adorable and roaches are disgusting beyond words according to my completely arbitrary sensibilities.


Question R: What RETAIL store would you choose if you could shop there for free?

The liquor store. Just kidding! The grocery store. Just kidding! The liquor store.







 

Wednesday, April 28, 2021

Quibblings

QUIBBLINGS: alternate for of the word siblings, which accounts for the sisterly tendency toward minor (hopefully not major) arguments.

My brother and I seem fortunate in that we get along pretty great. Disagreements are rare. More common is his tendency to interpret that I have insulted him in some minor way when in reality I intended nothing of the sort. He does seem more sensitive than most toward imagining slights however there is a definite body of evidence to suggest that I am, or else have been, of that same tendency, even though I do not feel that I am.

My nephew of four is a loud little guy, always gabbing exuberantly or singing or droning while stomping around in circles. The niece, Claire, at the final turn of year-one, seems to adore her brother, or at least finds him an engaging entertainment, and lacking the language to fully participate, has adopted a loud drone of her own which her loving parents kindly refer to as the most annoying sound on Earth, often referring to her as Clairodactyl.

I predict they will do very well as siblings. He showers her with regular affection. I'm still immensely impressed and proud at what a great dad my brother has turned out to be. His generosity as a family man is... inspiring.

The close-quarters Covid environment seems a threat though, as Dad tires of the constant pandemonium while working a sensitive career from home. I hope he can bear this assault without too much backlash at the kid, who will no doubt receive plenty of that from teachers as well. He is a very gregarious and loving boy and it would be a tragedy to crush that spirit. A real tragedy.


Question Q: If you could learn the absolute truth about one thing, what QUESTION would you ask?

Well that's a trillion dollar question. The origin of the universe?

Is it applicable to say I would like to meet the Buddha and/or Jesus of Nazareth and learn the truth of their stories behind the suspicious literary tales; their real origins and methods which led to their wisdom?

 

Sunday, April 25, 2021

Pupparazzi

PUPPARAZZI: Independent furry four-legged celebrity-hounds who take every opportunity to hassle, hamper, trample, torment (and mostly lick) their target of the moment; namely myself. Specifically they are:

Pupparino: (top/right) A.K.A. River, Chicken Wing. 

Pupparoo: (bottom/left) A.K.A. Jetzia, Jet, Munchkin, Wee Monster, Monkey, Turkey, Whackadoodle, Barky McBarkenheimer, Poodella-Queen Of The Floor


Question P: Your favourite PET you've had.

Blue of course. Short for Bluejay. I'll never know a finer dog. Through Covid I have missed her more than ever, and dreamt of her occasionally.

Ovaltine

OVALTINE: a whey-and-egg malted milk drink brand anglicized from Ovomaltine (Latin for egg and malt) by process of human error. I drank it as a kid, adding the powder to milk and fighting to blend the stubborn stuff, because my mom had been a fan of it in her childhood. At the time my friends were unfamiliar with it but now as adults, maybe everyone's heard of it?

Like the more popular Nestle Quick chocolate milk mix it hails from Switzerland. Of course Ovaltine's real claim to fame arrived in this 1974 theatrical masterpiece Young Frankenstein with Gene Wilder, Madeline Kahn and Marty Feldman:


Question O: What "OLD-person" thing do you do?

I forget shit all the time. Such as doing my daily A-to-Z. I'm a week behind. Time to get crackin'.

Thursday, April 22, 2021

Neography

NEOGRAPHY: the new but familiar landscapes I inhabit, to varying degrees as I suffer my good and bad days. The world looks entirely different when you have unlearned in a wholesale way in a real courageous pursuit of truth and in the course, gained a ridiculously rare appreciation for causality, illusion and human duality which should be compulsory to the human experience, the absence of which being close to the root of near every problem imaginable, great or small, and the root of foolishness in all our great collections of naive solutions which distract and divide us and stroke our preposterous egos and will never work.


Question N: If you had to move to a different NATION, which would you choose?

India, Cambodia or Vietnam, all for one shared reason and each for a unique one. It is only love for friends and family that keeps me in this place where I basically approve of nothing that goes on here!