Monday, November 18, 2013

Thank you, Microsoft

So… Windows 8 is so super spectacular it actually knows everything I hate and gradually alters its processes to make my experience as awful as possible.

For instance, as soon as I turn on my laptop and enter my security password it immediately displays the latest Rob Ford update. Seriously. Every time.

It so happens I really don’t care about the latest RobFord particulars. I don’t care what he has to say. I don’t care if he sinks or swims. I don’t care if Robford donates $1000 and a balloon-poodle full of crack to every boy and girl in the western hemisphere. I don’t care if he grows two new heads and flies to Phaelon, sneezing sea monkeys the whole way, and gets married to Chewbacca. Even if I’m invited to the wedding, I still won’t care. And I certainly won't go. And I'll only RSVP for Chewbacca's sake.

I don’t care if robford lives or dies. Hell, I don’t even care if Toronto elects Keith Richards as their new mayor.

If you don’t believe me, here’s a picture of me not giving a shit:

Oops. That’s me in my thong. Stupid Windows 8.