D is for Dog Nawper

Dog-nawper: A church beadle who uses his wand of office for tapping (nawping) the heads of dozing, or unruly, youngsters.

At the Roman Catholic church I was occasionally sentenced to as a youth, there were few opportunities to doze
thanks to the constant game of Simon Sez that went on. Simon sez stand... Simon sez sit... Simon sez kneel... Catholic clergy like to take up gobs of your time. You can't get in and out of their churches in less than an hour. So they resort to a lot of audience participation to keep the snoring levels down.

Source: Leeds Dialect Glossary and Lore (1924) John Wilkinson
Google hits: 20


Dishing up the spurs: To hint to guests that it is time to depart.

The phrase is said to originate from the English-Scotch borderlands where, upon provisions running low, a pair of spurs would appear at the table instead of food, signalling the time had arrived for a raid for provisions.

A friend and generous host once swore that if we didn't learn to start departing his home at a reasonable hour he would resort to leaving the room and returning wearing an old-fashioned night-robe complete with droopy nightcap, and carrying a candlestick.

Source: Dictionary of English Phrases (1922) Albert Hyamson
Google hits: 56


Dendranthopology: The study concerning the theory that man had sprung from trees.

Not to be confused with Neandrothology which is the study concerning the theory that man is slowly devolving; growing stupider, due to the complacency-inducing processes of societal power structures derived for the financial benefit of the wealthy elite... or at least there should be such a study.

Source: Supplemental English Glossary (1881) T. Lewis Davies
Google hits: 580

Why is there a hotdog on the tree of mythology?