Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Fun at the office

You ever see those pictures going around the internet of office cubicles redecorated as a welcome back from vacation gift? They've wrapped everything in tin foil or newspaper or covered everything in post-it-notes. In one case they planted some kind of seedlings in the keyboard and the plant-life emerged between the keys. In another they sealed the cubicle entrance with stretch-wrap and filled the cube with styrofoam nerds.

About a year ago my buddy Frank went to Spain for a couple weeks and on one of those days we had a massive server crash. Faced with the prospect of eight hours of thumb-twiddling, Rockin' Roddie and I came up with a worthy offline project. We bought 300 square feet of brown kraft paper and resurfaced ol' Frankie's entire office.

He has a big office. Besides what you can see in the photo above we papered his table and guest chairs, his file cabinet, stereo components and framed pictures. Even his dirty mug and drinking glass and his stacks of documents (separated into random wrapable-sized piles). It turned out 300 square feet wasn't enough. So much of it was done in newspaper instead.

He was back in the office for all of about five seconds before everyone squealed on Roddie and I. Bastards.

The sign on his monitor reads, by the way, "Welcome back from vacation, bitch." Nice touch, eh?

My boss just returned from a ten-day Florida vacation today. We've been too busy to spend a day wrapping all his belongings in newspaper as I'd suggested to the team. But it so happens that one of my clients is one of the leading chocolate bar manufacturers in the world. Thus Joe returned to find his desk burried in something a little more desirable than kraft paper...


Dave said...

I'm so sorry, but that whole chocolate bar thing would SO not upset me. I'd probably be sobbing with joy. Sobbing and eating. Sobbing and eating.
You know what would be hilarious!? You should play a prank on me one day when I least expect it. You could fill the land yacht with Cadbury mini eggs. Ya, that sure would get me alright!

Babs Gladhand said...

So...what's the count on the chocolate bars? I'm guessing 684. Am I right?

Fantasy Writer Guy said...

I'm afraid we took no inventory but I'd guess more like 2000. Keep in mind they're not exactly full-sized. They're Cadbury Magical Elves. Very tasty but small. They have pop rocks inside! It's true. Remember pop rocks? Here's a tip. Do not eat Cadbury Magical Elves right before going to bed. The 'popping action' actually continues on the back of your tongue for quite some time and while normally unnoticable - can be quite distracting when you're trying to sleep.

Dave, Um. Getting a truckload of Mini-Eggs - or of anything for that matter - out of this office would not be easy. Most of the bosses stash was dragged into the cafeteria post-vacation and shared with the entire company.

I've got a good stash of Caramilks, Wonderbars and Crunchies at the moment if any of that appeals. I use them to bribe I.T., Development and SQL-Admin staff. Nothing gets done in this company without the requisite palm-greasing - or rather - tongue greasing.


Kathleen said...

I'm so thankful that nobody at work has the time to misbehave like this. When I get back from any time away, it takes me at least an hour to get my mailbox to the point where I can send again.

Babs Gladhand said...

I love Pop Rocks. Are they inside chocolate? Why do they call them Magical Elves? Do non-magical elves not have Pop Rocks inside?

Fantasy Writer Guy said...

Who the hell every heard of non-magical elves?

Honestly Babs, You're going a little funny on me these days. I think you need a vacation!

(From Arkansas.)